Lactase Deficient
Along with 30 to 50 million other Americans, I am "lactose intolerant." I don't know about the rest of them, but I have issues with being called "intolerant." Here's why:
Main Entry: in·tol·er·ant Pronunciation: -r&nt Function: adjective 1 : unable or unwilling to endure 2 a : unwilling to grant equal freedom of expression especially in religious matters b : unwilling to grant or share social, political, or professional rights : BIGOTEDSo my body doesn't know how to digest lactose and I'm a bigot? I'm "unable or unwilling to endure" lactose? NO. I'll eat a damn piece of cheesecake if I want to. Let this be known: if you are a disaccharide sugar, I tolerate you. I may not be able to properly digest you. You may cause me intense intestinal pain. You may ruin some of my favorite foods. Hell, I pretty much hate you. But I tolerate you. -a proud Lactase Deficient citizen
courtesy of Merriam-Webster Online
3 Comments:
On behalf of dairy products around the world, your apology is accepted. However, we ask you to show your acceptance through a rally to protest dairy abuse. I saw a cheese beating a few years ago that has left me sickened by the lactose intolerant.
Snide enough for a comment? Thanks for stopping by my blog!
And this, this is why I nix the notion of a "fondue" as a romantic meal.
Why in God's name would anyone chance serving a cheese fondue during a romantic night in, when it could possibly result in a bloated and gassy date?
Chocolate, though...
You know, on a total tangent, I have this cookbook called "Intercourses"--a cookbook of aphrodesiac-based recipes. Naturally, strawberries and chocolate are in there, but so are things like asparagus...
...and black beans.
Again, I ask you, is it really wise to serve a potentially gassy meal to a love interest?
"Mm. I'm so looking forward to tonight with you. Can I just ask you to do one little teensy thing for me, hon?"
"Mm. Anything."
"Take this?" She hands him Bean-O.
(Ack. Sorry. I do this sometimes. Tangents. Fun post. I enjoyed that. You should check out my slutty little rag of HTML frenzy, since my profile doesn't work: www.thelastditch.blogspot.com)
1GC: Those are the intolerant ones I don't want to be associated with, the cheese beaters.
Steff: Substitute "lasagne" for "black beans" and "Lactaid" for "Bean-O" and you're describing my life.
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