I'm a man of slightly above average intelligence. And I'm not afraid of the kitchen. Heck, I've documented enough pie making adventures on this site, so you already knew that. But there is something have kept from you, until now. I suffer from KCSAD (typically pronounced as if it were the two words "kick" and "sad" together), or Kitchen Container Spatial Awareness Disorder.
For those who may not be familiar, let me explain what KCSAD is. KCSAD essentially makes a person unable to accurately correlate the spacial capacity of available food storage containers with the amount of leftover food. It's a disorder that, in terms of its medical acceptance, is in its relative infancy. The disorder affects men at a much higher rate than it does women, but women are by no means immune.
Growing up, I never even knew such a thing existed. If my mom said, "Put away the rest of the dinner," I would simply slap the lid on the pot and put it in the refrigerator. Two pots? I'd stack 'em. This strategy got me right through my adolescent years. Everything changed when I got married. It wasn't a direct result of marriage, but as a wedding gift, we received several Rubbermaid food storage containers, varying in size from "curiously small" to "unnecessarily big."
I distinctly remember the day when I first suspected something was wrong. We had a nice spaghetti dinner, and we had some leftover sauce. When asked to put it away, I grabbed what I thought would be an appropriate container. About halfway through pouring, I wondered aloud, "I wonder if this is all going to fit?" Needless to say, it wasn't going to fit. But because I thought it would be close, I kept pouring...
I'm always conscious of that moment when I'm putting food away, to this day. And yet still, I'm unable to select a correctly-sized container. I don't always underestimate storage needs, in fact, I'd say the opposite is true. I usually choose a container that is too large, then overcompensate with subsequent containers. For example, for dinner last night, we had a wonderful veggie and chicken stir fry with rice. First, I put away the rice. I know it didn't all settle properly in the container, but I can still see the bottom in some spots:
So then I put away the stir fry.
Note that I was only able to close the lid because I kept eating items from off the top until it would seal. Even still, as you can see in the picture below, the vegetables on top were fighting for their lives under that enormous pressure.
I'm not looking for sympathy, my goal here is just to make people aware of the disorder. If you ask your significant other to put away the leftovers, here are some of the typical responses of those with KCSAD so you can look out for them:
- He/she pretends like he/she didn't hear you
- He/she eats the remaining leftovers as to avoid putting them away, even if he/she just said "wow, I'm stuffed" prior to you asking
- He/she leaves the food in the pot/pan/dish in which it was cooked, and attempts to put it in the fridge as-is, regardless of whether there is room for such a container
Note that these are also symptoms of laziness, which often leads to KCSAD being misdiagnosed as laziness.
At this time, KCSAD has no cure, though its effects can be mitigated using some simple techniques. For example, you can buy storage containers that are all the same size, or provide a storage container to the person you are asking to put the leftovers away. Like I said, simple things like that will allow people with KCSAD to avoid what is often one of the most difficult parts of their day.
Thank you for your attention to this matter that is near and dear to my heart.
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