Message to Future Parents VIII: Uncle Willie's boogers
The fact that babies put things in their mouths is not news, even to those who aren't fans of the pint-sized humans. Another item that isn't news is that when people see a baby, they do one of three things:
- Pinch or rub the baby's cheeks
- Stick a finger out so the baby can grab on, then marvel out loud about how good a grip the baby has
- Pretend like they don't exist, and avoid making eye contact at all costs
Future parents, you have to worry about those who fall into categories 1 and 2. Since the birth of my son, I have been painfully aware of how often people rub their eyes, pick or rub their noses, or pick at their teeth, all with the same fingers that they stick out towards your baby. KNOWING that babies put their hands (and everything else in their reach) in their mouths, why would you subject this baby to your snot? Or saliva or tears? Would you dig in your nose and then put your finger directly in a babies mouth? Of course not! Yet by touching the baby's hand after rubbing your schnoz, this is essentially what you are doing.
But this is not a message to those in categories 1 and 2, this is a message to future parents. Don't let me get off track. (Did I mention I'm on vacation and I have an IQ of 130?) Parents, you will have to reconcile your politeness with your desire to keep your kid from ingesting your neighbor's snot. For those who are typically polite and soft spoken, this is tremendously difficult, no matter who the offender is. With family members, it's tricky. You don't want to imply that your family members are dirty, so saying "are your hands clean?" may be considered offensive to them. With strangers, you don't want to come across as being weird or rude, saying "um, please don't touch my child, because I don't know where your hands have been." Really, there are very few situations where the parent comes out looking good. And it's unfair, because you're just looking out for the welfare of your kid.
For little babies, I advise you to put their hands in those no-scratch mittens, which serve the double-purpose of preventing facial scratches and deterring strangers from touching their hands. But once the kid gets old enough to pull or bite these mittens off, you're on your own. People will typically ask permission before picking the baby up, so it's easy to say "yes, but we have a hand washing rule." But people don't ask permission before (essentially) sticking their snotty fingers in your baby's mouth. So when they go to do it and you stop them, it makes you seem all the more rude. But you know what? You're a parent. Time to grow up and set some rules, not just for your kid, but for those adults who interact with him/her.
Just keep in mind that your job as a parent is to keep your kid safe. And while keeping the kid safe from R-rated movies gets a lot of press, keeping the kid safe from Uncle Willie's boogers is important too, because it has a direct impact on your kid's health. What's more important than that?



Comments
Cate said:
Uncle Willie's Boogers! How timely and appropriate. Omar, you truly are on the cutting edge. My sister needs to start considering how to protect her child from Uncle Willie's Boogers.
ScroobiousScrivener said:
But are you not up to date with the cutting edge of immunology research? Germs=health. No, truly. Babies must be exposed to all those icky things so that their dear fragile little systems can examine, identify and file them away for future reference. After having established a way to defend itself against them, of course. A clean baby is a disease waiting to happen, I tells you.At least, this is the theory I'm propagating in anticipation of the remote future when I, perchance, procreate. I have to have my excuses handy.
omar said:
scroob - I agree with that, to an extent. Exposing them to germs does not mean exposing them to strangers' snot. But he does go to a sitter's house, where he interacts with a few adults and a couple of other kids. That's plenty of germ exposure right there.And having read some of your previous comments, I am surprised that you're leaving the door (slightly) open, with regards to having kids! Good for you!
ScroobiousScrivener said:
Never say never, you see - I took enough flak for actually getting married, after a lifetime of strenuous objections. So, y'know. It could happen. *cough, choke*
omar said:
cate - hopefully you don't really have a brother named Willie who is putting his boogers in your nephew's mouth. I tried to pick a name that sounded fictional, as to keep it generic and not offend anyone.
1GloriousConundrum said:
Well, she does, and I'm sure she's terribly offended because it was supposedly some big family secret that he runs around shoving snotty fingers in babies' mouths...*Sigh*(Assuming medical care provide role) Germs are good for kids. Your kid picks up more germs from the floor than he will ever get from Uncle Willie. However, as long as you promise not to come screaming for antibiotics the minute he sniffles, you may establish any cleanliness rules you desire, including OCD-like handwashing.......But (with a flip of the hair) I do find it particularly icky when people swap snot, spit, whatever with the unsuspecting.
cadiz12 said:
with each new installment of mtfp, i find myself finding new and unusual reasons to fear for the children who are now just a sparkle in my eye.but i guess knowing is half the battle, right?
Jasmine said:
ahh, the things i DON'T have to worry about if i never have children...they're endless really....
1GloriousConundrum said:
I'm glad the "meeters" are edging out the shy on your poll...
cadiz12 said:
yeah, what's up with the meeting question? are you going to have that 'i killed the vole' party afterall omar?
1GloriousConundrum said:
Omar's silence on the subject is most puzzling...
omar said:
glo - I once bought into that whole "germs are good" thing. Then my 2 month old got a 101 degree fever, and it was DIRECTLY attributable to contact with a sick person (at least, in my mind). I still buy that he needs to build an immune system, but I think adults need to use some sense. I wouldn't exchange snot with someone I knew was sick, I wouldn't expect my baby to either! (phew)
omar said:
cadiz and jazz - I've said this before, but this time I mean it. The next installment of MTFP will be positive. There have been so many great things that have happened since the boy has been born. I have purposely only been mentioning the things I didn't necessarily think about prior to his arrival, but I may be to focused on the negative.glo 2 - Not anymore, now the shy have taken the lead. Are you a meeter? Is there a story to be told there? I am in the "no" group, myself.cadiz 2 - I went to high school with a girl who met (who is now) her husband over the internet. While I may still have the party, I don't expect great attendance, since you all are from places that are not really close.
1GloriousConundrum said:
Ah, crummy. What's up with you people? Get out of the house! But, yes, I'm a meeter. Big time. I can't imagine knowing someone but not meeting them. It's unfathomable to me. If I like you in print, I'll like you in person, so I want to meet. Just one extrovert's opinion on the matter.And seeing your baby sick is really terrifying. Believe me, I get that. And adults should use sense. But why are you *such* a snot snob? Really, snot is people, too, y'know...
omar said:
You're right, I should have focused equally on the saliva and tears, not just the snot.And about the meeting thing, there are more bloggers to meet in southern CA than where I'm at.
Jasmine said:
that's true. at least the so.cal people should meet up!and then they should all report back to me with the gossip. i'll write a column.
Jasmine said:
and to be fair, you should have made the question, "would you ever meet..."
cadiz12 said:
yeah, any temperature for a baby is really scary. i'd probably be a lot less laid back than even you are, omar. can't wait for the positive installment.i know a few couples who did that too, omar. one of them is really scary, but the other is really very cool.about the party, at the very least we'd all have plenty of comments about pics or video.
1GloriousConundrum said:
Why do I see the title 'party organizer' in my future? It should be here stated that I have no pull with anyone in Blogland...my own mother has become a little iffy about continuing our association.
Radioactive Jam said:
Hay you could make the party virtual, that way *all* of us could attend.Oh wait, that's this. Never mind.
Sarah said:
I met my boyfriend through match.com and a have a really good girl friend that I met in a chat room. I've met WAY too many people from on-line.
X said:
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nadia said:
Yu want clean? Dn't cme t Malaysia, where peple smetimes sneeze n yu fr n reasn.I knw this is ging t sund...pathetic, t put it kindly but...ah, screw it. mar! When are yu gnna check ut my blg?
cadiz12 said:
op.net tour! lemme know if you need a roadie. or a backup singer. or a fly girl wannabe. i'm really very multitalented.
Book said:
Omar, I just wanted to say how much I love you. You included a Metallica question in your music quiz, and a great one at that. You are truly the man.
Seventeen Syllables said:
The thing I hated most about the whole touching-the-baby-with-unclean-hands business is how people would roll their eyes and act like I was some germophobic freak for asking them to wash their hands before sticking fingers in the baby! (His MOUTH, I mean.) They'd all just chuckle about me being a first timer and overprotective. Of a ONE MONTH OLD. Because, you know, one month olds are so tough.Anyway, as if you would go up to your neighbor and start fisting his face without first at least OFFERING to wash up. Babies deserve at least that level of etiquette.Sheesh.
omar said:
17 - I knew I could count on you to back me up. book - I'm glad you liked it. And for everyone else out there, I would like to acknowledge that this is the second person to profess their love for me on this blog. x & cadiz - keep an eye out for the tour, coming soon to a convention center (or centre) near you.
Johnny Menace said:
Thank god i fell in category 3 and didn't have to read the rest.
Nadia said:
I'm not sure I love you yet, but I do have very strong feelings of like.
Karlik1 said:
Karlik4