The Return
Prepare yourselves, readers. Omar's back. The germ killing monkeys (not related to the infamous "little yellow monkey" from over at RaJ's) have done their jobs. In fact, I'm feeling so good, I'm thinking I have another one of those waves of blog creativity coming on, like that week when the world was introduced to AV-wear and the original omarphillips.net MadLibs. I'm not going to say too much, I'm just going to subtly recommend that you keep extra underwear nearby.
For those readers who incurred any medical expenses as a direct result of my absence, please accept my most sincere apologies, along with these free gifts:
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I also wanted to catch up on a few items; most notably, the "poop poll" from last week. I was told during conversation that most people poop in the morning. I had never heard such a thing! I, for one, poop when I have to poop. Time of day be damned. I figured it was one of those nonsense notions that are passed down through the generations. "Grandma says if you poop in the evenings, god's not going to let you into heaven!" But the statistically innacurate poll results showed that I was wrong. People really do go #2 in the mornings. Say it ain't so, grandma! All the good things I've tried to do in my life, and that's why I'm going to hell?
The facial hair poll was self-serving. I often like facial hair, but I lack the ability to grow enough of it to look good. So I tell myself that most people don't like it, as if that's the reason why I don't do it. Thanks for helping me feel good about myself.
Comments
mep said:
psst, Omar . . . it's "overtly" analytical, and thanks for the link!! :D
Cate said:
Those earrings are fab! Thanks!
I said:
D'oh! My bad, mep! I knew it was "overtly," and I made a typo when I added the link. Corrected now.
cate - Did you incur medical expenses? The earrings are only for those who did.
Jon said:
I personally incurred tremendous medical expenses. So great are my medical maladies that I have been unable to blog for over a week now. These earrings warm my heart though, and they really bring out my eyes, so I wear them with pride. I’m getting a lot of jealous looks these days because of them too. One man shouldn’t be able to look this good. Frankly, they are the best accessory I’ve ever worn. I’m 98% sure I’ll never take them off. (I’m saving that 2% for the next time I’m in vegas and I get a royal flush and the fool sitting on the other side of the table tries to buy me out of the hand… I’ll just toss those babies onto the giant stack of chips and say, “I’ll raise you…” A hush will fall over the casino floor and the tension will literally be cut with a knife.)
me said:
Glad your back omar! So sorry I missed the poop post. Such a scientific study. I'm going to have to go back and do some more reading.
cadiz12 said:
okay, so the earrings are taken. what do you have to do to get the watch? looks pretty fly...
Berrygirl said:
poop pole? I missed it but I say go if you have to go!! Glad you are back and feeling like a rockstar again. Anxiously awaiting the Omar's Mad Libs- with an extra pair of panties just in case!!
I said:
For those who missed it, here is the poop poll.
jon - I admire your vision, jon. saving that 2% is brilliant. And I hope that it's not at the dollar tables at some cheap casino. Aim high.
me and berry - The poop poll link is above. Take the results with a grain of salt, as this place is riddled with people who (by their own admission) don't care about statistical integrity.
cadiz - I just need proof of significant medical expenses incurred as a direct result of my blog absence. Then the watch is as good as yours.