I can't concentrate
I've been having some concentration problems lately. There are many things that just keep creeping up in my mind, getting in the way of me doing, you know, whatever it is that I do.
One of the sources is next Thursday night. Survivor premieres next Thursday. In other news, my wedding anniversary is next Thursday. Luckily, the wife likes Survivor too. Still, neither of us were planning on spending our wedding anniversary with Jeff Probst. Though honestly, I think it would be pretty cool to spend an evening chatting it up with Probst. My first question would be, "What the hell kind of name is Probst?" Then I'd ask, "Gerri, from Australia. You hit it, right?" He'd be like, "You know I can't answer that." Then I'd be like, "Hells yeah, Probst!" Then I'd high-five him, and whisper "You should have gotten Amber before Boston Rob did man, she's way hotter."
Then the wife would be like, "Happy anniversary." Then I'd say, "JP, we should probably table this conversation about which survivors you tagged, it's a little inappropriate, don't you think? Let's get back to your name..."
Another source of my concentration problems is this:
Steve Harvey's hairline is unnaturally perfect. Uncomfortably perfect. Everything about Steve Harvey's hair makes me uncomfortable. It never changes. It's like his hair is fake, but I don't think it is. It gives me the willies, man. Steve Harvey's hairline steals 5-10 minutes from my life every day. Does he trim it prior to every time he's going to be seen? Is it a hairpiece? Does he feel like he's ever had a bad hair day? I'm so amazed and confused about how it looks like that year after year.
I'll be feeding the boy some baby food carrots. Steve Harvey's hair will sneak its way into my mind. Next thing I know, it's 7 minutes later and the boy has smeared carrots all in his hair, and he's crying because the bowl he just toppled over into his lap is now empty and he's still hungry. Wife will come in and be like, "What the crap is going on?"
"I was feeding him, then Steve Harvey, and now he's covered... I don't know!"
Comments
Ant said:
I have no idea who Jeff Probst or Steve Harvey are, but that guy definitely looks like he's exerting some kind of mind control...
There's been no "suspicious" events occurring when you zone out like that? (e.g. assassinations, robberies,...)
jasmine said:
i think he must shave whatever part of his hairline doesn't fit into that line. that's gross.
Cate said:
For the rest of my life now I will be haunted by Steve Harvey's hair. That hair is wrong, I tell ya. Just wrong. And not in the good way of wrong.
mep said:
He kind of looks like one of those puppets that they used for the made-in-the-70's-scary-Christian-singing-puppet videos that I remember so fondly from my church library.
Jon said:
I can’t tell you how much it means to me that someone else is losing time on Steve Harvey’s hair line… I don’t lose that much, but I have been mesmerized by it virtually every time it’s come on the screen. Something’s going on, of that much, I am sure.
Also, Survivor… couple that with the official start of the NFL season, and things are looking nice. We’re getting ready to draw survivor names here in the office pool. If you have not yet participated in a Survivor office pool, I highly recommend it. Nothing makes a show more interesting than having money riding on the outcome of some singing freak. (yeah, I was a little heartbroken last season when one of my ponies was out before the show even started. Don’t these people watch the show? The annoying singers never make it… NEVER!!!) Also, have you checked out their bio’s on CBS.com? (this was a rhetorical question) What’s up with the favorite video games section? There’s only one or two people that I actually believe have ever played a video game. (by the way, I do not consider spider solitaire or blackjack video games.)
Glo said:
Wow. These are serious issues. I must ponder them.
My sister always says that Jeff Probst has the best job on TV. He flies to an exotic location, lives in the lap of luxury and gets paid to mock idiots starving themselves for a prize they most likely won't win. What could be better?
cadiz12 said:
Probst sounds like an uncomfortable medical procedure. i really hope they never turn that word into a verb.
yeah, steve's hair is a little scary. i can totally see how it can act as a portal to la-la land. and while terrence howard also has a very neat 'fro, it seems more natural to me. but maybe that's only b/c i like his smile.
seventeen syllables said:
heh heh...cadiz said "probst"...
I don't know of this Steve Harvey person, don't know what's up with that hairline, but I can see why it frightens you. And now, I am frightened too. Thanks, Omar. Thanks alot.
I said:
Ant - I hadn't thought of what else might be happening while I'm zoning out... So I decided to check under my mattress. To my surprise, I found 20 grand in cash and a bunch of Steve Harvey autographed memorabilia. Who knew?
jas - He must shave it, like, every ten minutes. It's sickening.
cate - Half of me wants to apologize for bringing you this haunting image. The other half of me wants to come by with some tapes of "The Steve Harvey Show." I don't even know why.
mep - He certainly doesn't look real, no. He looks like a caricature of himself. It's unexplainable.
jon - That singing lady annoyed the crap out of me, and she was only on for 10 minutes. Then she sang again at the reunion show! It's like CBS is mocking us, they're like "you'll watch this crap no matter who we put on it."
glo - Probst does have the best job. All he does is sit around and start fights. Him and his accentuated cheek bones. Damn him.
cadiz - Yes, yes it does sound quite uncomfortable. Steve's hair is beyond "neat fro" though. I'm not convinced it isn't a helmet.
17 - I guess you're not the only one who said they didn't know Steve Harvey, but how is this? I mean, he's no A-list celeb. But he's been around. Didn't you see "You Got Served"? -- I'm sorry, I couldn't even write that with a straight face.
Nadia said:
Thank you, Omar. I was so looking for another unspeakable terror to add to my list of...well, unspeakable terrors.
I think it's alive. A self-sustaining Afrosystem. Designed by aliens. Bald ones. Out of envy of humans' flowing locks. To get us to rip em out by the roots in confusion over Steve Harvey and the unnatural hairline.
Viking054 said:
I never really noticed it, but since you've brought it to my attention that hairline sends a chill up my spine!
X said:
Bernie Mac also has a disturbingly pin-sharp afro/hairline. There seems to be a pattern here.
---X
Berrygirl said:
you know I have never even noticed but it is going to freak me out too!
He kinda looks plastic in that picture.
Lianne said:
I have found you via Cate and Glo. OK, you are now one of my favorite blogs. Any man who can make feeding a baby carrots amusing is on my favorities list.
You go with the bad Animal Crackers. Are they dry? Very dry?
I said:
Welcome, lianne! Yes, they were dry. And tasty. And plentiful.
Syar said:
I'm so late to comment on this post, and I didn't feel like reading it cause you had two other posts up by the time I got here, but then I felt like reading the comments. then I started giggling. then I had to stifle my gigles cause my dad is in the same room, thinking I'm googling stuff for my sociology assignment.
then I read this :
Didn't you see "You Got Served"? -- I'm sorry, I couldn't even write that with a straight face.
then I read this :
"I was feeding him, then Steve Harvey, and now he's covered... I don't know!"
then I read this, again :
He must shave it, like, every ten minutes. It's sickening.
now my dad is filling out "forms" for a "spa weekend". I'll be thinking of steve harvey when I ger there.
nycdiploamt189 said:
people i ahve been admiring steve harveys hairline for whos know how long i try imitating him for so long and people the reason it looks so perfect my word for it is crispy is because he had the unwanted hairs laserly removed they said it on vh 1 look at him on the def comedy jam thing and he is no were to having the same hair line also jamie fox also did the same thing if ya havent noticed and im bout to do the same so there no saving or any thing. as for the fro, the man must a really good barber and i know for a fact they dye his hair
Jay said:
OK Playa' the truth be told by J. Anthony Brown on the Tom Joyner in the Morning Radio Show last week. Tom tried to shut him up about it but he couldn't resist the joke exposing Stevo at his expense. They both knew Stevo would be very very mad-oh for exposing his big-oh secret-oh! The truth is out! Steve Harvey is bald as an 8-Ball!!! Dat' is a hair-piece playa' Allow yourself the solice of knowing that Stevo is a big fako. Trust me on this...
Why does Steve always wear a hat? http://www.steveharvey.com/photos.html
Jay
Im29Iremember said:
When I watched the apollo about 15 or so years ago.. I remember steve harvey was losing his hair. His "perfect" hairline was receeding. I don't know why or how people forgot but i'll never forget. Looks like when you have money.. you can get the expensive hair loss coving tricks.
So yes, Steve Harvey was losing his hair 15 years ago so by now ..all the hair on top of his head is false.