omarphillips.net TV Viewer's Guide: ABC
I'm excited to announce the first ever omarphillips.net 2005 Fall Season TV Viewer's Guide.
I'll work on a shorter name for it later.
I fully anticipate upsetting at least a handful of readers, but, you know, these are the breaks. The guide is broken down first by channel, then by day. It should be noted that this only counts shows that I feel like counting, since it is my viewing guide. Note also that I am only including major American networks (ABC, CBS, FOX, and NBC), so sorry to my international readers who may not be able to benefit. For everyone else who does get these channels/shows, read on! This guide will provide everything you need to know in this TV season.
The rating scale is as follows:
Expect a printable version shortly. And now on to the reviews:
SUNDAY
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition - You'll cry. You may not think you'll cry, but you will. And not because of the sadness of the story, but out of pity for the people who will now get robbed because their new $300,000 house is still in the same crappy neighborhood.
Desperate Housewives - Death. Mystery. Comedy. Eva.
Grey's Anatomy - It's like ER when it was good, minus most of the hospital stuff, but with lots of sexual tension and a better looking cast. Did that sound shallow? How about if I rave about Katherine Heigl? Shallow yet?
MONDAY
Wife Swap (through December) - (I shouldn't even touch this one. I just want it on record that I wouldn't swap my wife for anything.) This show is not as bad as I would have thought. Or is Trading Spouses the good one? Not sure.
The Bachelor (starting in January) - I had to double check to make sure this show was even still on the air.
Monday Night Football - The longest running prime time show will be leaving ABC this year (it's moving to ESPN next year). Plus, this is John Madden's last year on it (he's moving to NBC's Sunday Night Football next year). Yes, Hank Williams Jr. I am ready for some football. It'll never be the same again (humming theme song).
TUESDAY
Wait, does ABC air on Tuesdays? Oh wait, they're starting that show with Geena Davis this week, Commander In Chief. Can't wait.
WEDNESDAY
LOST - Nothing more than Gilligan's Island with some made-up-on-the-fly character history and suspense. Minus Ginger. "Oh, the writing is so great, it won lots of Emmys," blah blah blah. It's crap. And Matthew Fox, shouldn't he be off looking after his little siblings? Oh, this isn't Party of Five? I couldn't tell, because everything about him and every character he plays is EXACTLY THE SAME.
THURSDAY
Alias - Isn't Jennifer Garner knocked up? And they're writing that into the show? Wasn't she some kind of action hero on the show? How can she do that when she's pregnant? Yeah, it sounds like a recipe for crap. (I should note that I've never actually seen an episode of this show.)
FRIDAY & SATURDAY
Quit watching TV, man! It's the weekend!
Coming soon, Omar reviews the CBS prime-time lineup!
Comments
Tayster said:
out of pity for the people who will now get robbed because their new $300,000 house is still in the same crappy neighborhood.
I just blew Coke with Lime out of my nose. Thanks
RaJ said:
Alias, J. Garner's pregnancy: no problemo. Amber already worked out the scripts.
seventeen syllables said:
Omar, you speak truth to power. Lost = Gilligan's Island + Fantasy Island - {(genuine mystery + Tattoo)+ (humorous wealthy snobs + genius inventions made from coconuts and chewing gum)}. In other words, why bother to sit through an episode when all the *good* parts have been taken out?
(Wow, that's the first time I wrote an equation since, like, tenth grade. Bet you couldn't tell, huh?)
But no one will say it. Why? The emperor, he has no clothes!
cadiz12 said:
sorry o, can't agree with you on Lost. i'm not even a sci-fi geek i've been suckered in. but you're right about matthew fox. however, he is really great at the whole crying thing. why mess with success?
Syar said:
I'm with 'Diz. I love Lost. I shall say no more on your hatred of the show out of diplomacy.
Desperate Housewives though, so glad they finally showed it here. of course the *ahem*
"questionable" content has been cut down (so all love scenes aren't tasty tasty anymore) but hey, I can deal with that. (not that I have a choice)
I agree with you about alias. what is going on with that show? vaughn, no vaughn, pregnant crime fighting spy? that bald dude who's the father of agent bristow's half sister? I've seen a few episodes and its never hooked me in for more than a few weeks.
i just have to say, *takes a deep breath to hold back the tears* I am SO glad you're doing posts about TV shows. its just so awesome.
'ka said:
i guess for the next couple weeks your wife will never touch the remote, huh? :)
Berrygirl said:
Love fall season!!
It is so exciting. Glad I am not the only one that seems to be looking forward to the new stuff.
Tayster said:
seventeen, you forgot that it also lacks cameos by Sonny Bono and Charo ("Cuchi Cuchi")
Sarah said:
Wife Swap is "watchable" and Lost is "crap"???
Are you high??
Other than that, I agree with you.
Glo said:
Yeah. So part of my holiday involved skipping premiere week for the first time in 28 years. It felt good. I am truly free of the media...except LOST. I love that show. And your 5-minute viewing is hardly good judging...
Why didn't I know I was losing MNF? I love it! I have watched faithfully for 27 years (I was born Superbowl weekend, so I missed that 1st year...)
Book
said:
Grey's Anatomy is the greatest show on television right now.
I said:
sarahNo, no I am not high. I tell it like it is, yo.
Book, I'd agree that it's in the top 3 or 4.
glo - Well it's still Monday Night Football, it'll just be on ESPN. I don't love it either. In fact, I think it's making me want to cry a little.
tayster - The LOST season is young. I wouldn't count out the Charo appearance.
17 - You're my favorite reader of the day. And tomorrow, since it's late.
ka - Are you kidding? She's right there with me! Except during Monday Night Football.
berry - It's a glorious time of year indeed.
cadiz - I can see how people can get sucked in, don't get me wrong. It's very similar in my mind to the show 24 in some ways. Similar in a grossly inferior way. But just an easy show to get sucked into.
syar - I'm glad you're glad! Stay tuned! More TV shows to come.
Cate said:
Dude. I don't know if we can be friends anymore. You don't like LOST? That's downright heretical.
Lianne said:
OK.. I was a big West Wing fan.. but Commander and Chief just missed with me. I'd rather watch House.
However, I made my choices Tuesday night because of you, dear Omar, invisible man of the blogdom.