Message to Future Parents XIII: How to Childproof a Kitchen Cabinet
Oh what those little tots can get into! As the parent, it's your responsibility to do your best to make sure your home is as childproof as possible. The following is a 23-step guide on how to install cabinet locks* on floor-level cabinets in your home.
- Gather your tools: screwdriver, pen/pencil/marker, ruler/tape measure.
- In the corner where you want to install the lock, mark a spot one inch from the corner.
- Using the included double-sided tape, secure the inside part of the locking mechanism in the spot you marked off in the previous step.
- Using two of the included screws and your phillips head screwdriver, insert the screws through the existing holes in the locking mechanism and tighten them into the cabinet.
- After 10 minutes of fruitlessly attempting to bore a hole in your cabinet frame, go get a drill with a small bit and drill a pilot hole in the cabinet.
- Repeat step 4.
- Hold the door part of the locking mechanism against the door. Close the door until the two parts of the locking mechanisms meet. Align the door part of the mechanism so that it is in a position to be able to catch on the inside part of the locking mechanism that you already installed.
- Realize that it's not catching and locking because you installed the first part backwards, so the door part has nothing to catch on.
- Remove the part you installed in step 6, then install it again in the correct direction, as shown in Figure A.
- Repeat step 7. When you have it lined up properly, mark the door in the location where the door part of the locking mechanism needs to be in order to latch.
- Get really pissed off trying to mark a spot on the inside of your cabinet door while the cabinet is open only 1.5 inches, using a marker that is more than 1.5 inches long.
- Remember that you have double-sided tape, try to use that to hold the door side of the locking mechanism in place. Get frustrated when you realize that you still can't do it, because the tape isn't strong enough to hold the piece in place while disengaging the lock.
- Eyeball it, and mark it off with your pen.
- Proactively drill pilot holes through the existing holes in the locking mechanism, taking care to pay attention to the fact that the doors really aren't that thick, and the only thing stopping you from drilling a hole clear through the door is your own desire to not do something really stupid.
- Using the provided screws, fasten the door portion of the locking mechanism to the cabinet door. As you begin to tighten the screws, realize that one of them is screwing right into the joint between two pieces of wood, and pray silently that you don't split the panels when tightening the screw.
- As the panels begin to split, curse the company out loud, wondering why they woud ever make it so this happened.
- Discover that they probably meant for the latching hook on the inside part of the locking mechanism to be one inch from the inside corner. You measured it off so that there was a one inch space between the side of the piece and the corner, so the hook was actually closer to an inch and a half from the corner. Had you done it the other way, the two door screws would have straddled the joint, and you would not be facing this problem. Idiot.
- Drill a slightly larger pilot hole in that spot to avoid having the screw do additional damage.
- Now that all parts are properly fastened in place (as shown in Figure B), sit and stare at the open door for several minutes. You won't want to close the door, because you'll be afraid that the two pieces are not properly aligned and the lock won't work. This is normal.
- Slowly close the door.
- Stare at the closed door for several minutes, fearing that the door will open unobstructed when you pull the handle, exposing your ineptitude as a parent and handyman.
- Very slowly open the cabinet door, audibly promising to bring harm to the "technical writers" who drafted the included instructions if this does not work. The door opens only an inch or two, then the latch engages as expected. Let out a sigh of relief.
- Rather than install another lock on the other two cabinets, move everything from those two other cabinets into the one that now locks.
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* Remember that childproof cabinet locks are not a replacement for proper adult supervision. Neither are cartoons.
Comments
cadiz12 said:
a very good step toward the preservation of sanity for you and The Wife. believe me, as someone who continually made a three-piece band out of my mother's pots and pans, access to cabinets can lead to nothing but a headache.
Glo said:
Makes me wonder if the adult-proof house my sister lives in is really the result of poor installation....can you actually access the cupboard now? Or is it permanently locked? Cuz that's the permanent status of my sis's entire house, including the toilet seat. Not joking. I have to use the neighbor's bathroom....
Scroobious said:
Yup, I was wondering the same thing as Glo. Is the kid winning a secret mind control battle to make your lives impossible, one way or the other?
Cate said:
Neither are cartoons?
Cartoons are not a replacement for proper adult supervision?
There goes my entire future parenting strategy.
mep said:
That's hillarious. I didn't know it was so complicated to install those locking mechanisms that my sister did herself. I thought she said it was easy . . . But we grew up on a farm so it's probably really complicated, she's just good it. . . I mean . . . *cough* . . . she probably had my dad do it - and he's an electrician.
RaJ said:
I followed these instructions pretty much to the letter when first child-proofing our kitchen. Except I remember creating two or three broken mechanisms before I finished. I also remember buying a different brand for our next kitchen, and not having any trouble at all.
I *also* remember our two-year-old son having no problem forcing open these locked (ha-ha, it is to laugh) cabinet doors.
I said:
cadiz - That's exactly what we're looking to avoid, yes. Not preservation of sanity, I mean the pots and pans thing.
glo - I can still open the cabinet, so it isn't adult proof. I have, however, forgotten about the lock every single time I've gone to open it, and I'm convinced that I will break it sometime over the next few weeks by continually pulling it. That will be a result of poor installation.
scroob - The jury's still out on that. I'm not sure who's controlling who.
cate - I was a little disappointed when I read about that too. I saw no mention of whether or not reality TV is a replacement, however.
mep - As RaJ said, I'm sure it has to do with the type of lock. Additionally, I make no claim to be handy around the house. I replaced the flapper on my toilet last year, and that's pretty much my crowning achievement. (Anyone who's done it before understands that this takes no more than a 3rd grade education and opposable thumbs.) Need CSS code fixed? I'm your man. Need help troubleshooting network connection problems? Call me up. If you need to install a new cabinet mounted electric can opener, you had better look elsewhere.
RaJ - I'm glad I'm not alone. Luckily, most of our cabinets are in pairs, and I can just use one of those locks that clamp around the two handles.
Scott said:
When we were childproofing our kitchen a year or so ago, we found some pretty good ones where you have to use what looks like a knob that contains a magnet to trigger another magnet in the cabinet to allow you to open the door. It doesn't open even a little bit unless you use the magnetic thing. Seems to work pretty well.
http://www.safety1st.com/product.asp?productID=231
BerryChick said:
Omar- if your son is like ours he will figure out the "childlocks" long before you do. Actually we did get the magnetic ones for the kitchen- they kick ass but I did see the BabyB using the little magnetic key on the side the other day. But good luck to him- we seriously can't open them half the time they are soo sturdy do I think he will be unable to get into them for some time!!
'ka said:
god knows when i'll have my own kids... but i will start to remember it f/ now and make sure to have the copy of your guide... just in case.... :D
jasmine said:
so i can't decide whether this cabinet lock was really difficult or if you were having lots of problems unnecessarily...
so which is it? :)
Jon said:
When I read this post I got so excited I went out and purchased some child proof locks and installed them on all (followed the instructions exactly) of our cabinets. I’m almost 28 and currently the youngest person living in the house. It’s taken my parents a little while to adjust to the new child proofing, but I think they’re slowly adapting. I’m disappointed though because magnetic locks sound super cool. Once again I jumped the gun. I think that’s why they call me Jon “The Gun Jumper.” Yeah… suddenly it all makes a lot more sense…
Cate said:
I tagged you with a meme, Omar. Don't you feel lucky?
seventeeen syllables said:
LOL. I had the same exact brand of cabinet locks, and the same kind of experience of installing them.
I'm also startled to learn that cartoons aren't a substitute for adult supervision. NOW you tell me....