Message to Future Parents XIV: Take your Ginkgo Biloba
I feel like in the past 12-18 months, a lot of babies have been born. Perhaps it's just my perception because I have been more aware of babies/pregnancy since having my own child, I'm not sure. In any case, there are other babies everywhere I go. It has been both good and bad. Good because it makes small talk easier for me, because I can talk about my kid all day. Bad because I always get asked questions that I don't know the answer to, and it makes me feel inadequate as a parent.
Far and away the most frequent example of this is with regard to weight. Ask me my boy's size at birth, and I can tell you his weight to the half ounce. That's not the problem. The problem is when mother to 6 month old Jacob (because aren't all babies named Jacob these days?) says:
"Oh, my Jacob is getting so heavy for me to carry! He just had his 6-month appointment, he weighed 19 pounds! He's in the 90th percentile. How big was your boy at 6 months?"
My mind was racing. That was like, 6 months ago! And I was sleep deprived! What's your name again? "Um... I barely remember what I ate for dinner last night," I joked. Then I fought through her condescending glares until we said our goodbyes.
This very scenario has happened more times than I can count. There's little worse than when another parent makes you feel as if they're doing more for their kid than you are for yours. Even though remembering what my boy weighed 3, 6, and 9 months ago has nothing to do with my ability to take care of him and love him, it's something that Jacob's mom is doing when I'm not!
Unfortunately, it took me almost a year to get around to preparing myself, so that I can avoid these awkward situations. I went into the boy's medical records and I wrote everything down. Then, last week, I went to a tattoo parlor and got the information inked on the inside of my forearm. Ages, weights, heights, percentiles, everything. The whole time I was hoping to run into Jacob's mom again. "NOW we'll talk percentiles, lady. Seriously though, what is your name?"
So last night, I found myself in another one of those situations with other parents of infants. Like clockwork, 5 minutes in, the conversation turned towards weights and percentiles. I was rattling information off like my name was "Father of the Year." It was great. A few minutes later, the conversation went off in another direction. My mental victory lap was interrupted by Emily's dad saying:
"So Omar, when did your boy start solid foods?"
(sigh) Crap.



Comments
Katie said:
Thank god I'm going to be the covetous and completely ignorant aunt. If anyone were to ask me, I'd just say, "I'm not really certain. But I bought Nefret here a brand new pair of squeaky shoes!" Maybe you should consider getting a new tattoo for every big event (solid foods, first word, first step... etc.) and that way, you'd always be prepared for the inevitable.
Glo said:
Yikes. Growth charts are dangerous. I will yield them more appropriately from now on...
I said:
Katie - One thing I've learned about parenthood so far is that you are never completely prepared. I imagine that it would apply in this case also. But I may have to keep that tattoos coming.
glo - Growth charts are very dangerous, yes. And apparently, they're also inconsistent, as the percentiles I keep hearing are all over the place. Though I will note that they all seem to be high, I don't find a lot of kids who are under the 50th percentile in anything. How's that even possible?
jasmine said:
tatoo huh?
and i was thinking, "put it in a notecard and keep it in your pocket."
you're extreme dude...
seventeeen syllables said:
I had this friend once who bragged to everybody how his baby got two perfect scores on his APGAR test [for you non parents: an assessment of newborn's general condition done at 1 and 5 minutes of age.] We were all like, yeah Burt, that's great. He told us so many times, I think he thought there was a prize involved or something.
I don't remember my son's APGAR scores. I sure hope that won't prevent him getting into Harvard!
I said:
APGAR! I meant to mention that as well. Though it's one of those things that only comes up when people get 10's. Nobody brags about a 9.
Glo said:
medical jargon in general should be kept very private....parents are out of control!
We's fat. That's why the percentiles are high. The charts are based on data from the 1950s, when we believe America was at its zenith of health. People have gained on average 20% over their 1950s counterparts. Thus, everyone weighs heavy on the charts. It's not something to be proud of, really, but, hey! It's America. Bigger is better.
'ka said:
wow.. tattoo!!.. you'll be a walking baby chart by the time you have 4 kids
jedith said:
Hmm, your site looks different to me somehow. Have you done something to it?
I said:
jasmine - Extreme is my middle name.
glo - You mean to say that our society's fatness manifests itself by 3 months of age?! On one hand, that's depressing. On the other hand, it explains a lot.
'ka - 4 what?
jedith - I changed the banner at the top... I guess it depends on when your last visit was!
Nadia said:
So that's how you spell ginkgo.
Berrychick said:
My and the hubby were talking about this the other day- I swear there are more babies and pregnant woman out there now then ever...
It is all part of our plan to take over the world. Watch out!!!