My ears are bleeding
This past weekend, we celebrated Christmas with some of our out of town family. It was a good time. The boy got a handful of new toys to enjoy, he was quite pleased.
The one that has become his favorite is this, the Fisher-Price Sesame Street Giggle Doodler:
It was a timely gift, as he has just started taking interest in pens and paper. Instead of having to say, "where did you get that pen from?" or "Please stop writing on the bank statement / the wall / daddy's magazine / your face," we can just sit him down with his new Giggle Doodler.
As you can see from the photo, the doodler has Elmo on one side and Cookie Monster on the other. As you write with the attached pen, it makes a... a writing noise? I guess I don't know how to describe it. But it's supposed to sound like writing. Then occasionally Elmo will say, "that tickles - hehehehe." If you grab the lever and pull it up and down, it will not only erase what's on the pad, but it will make a sound that is supposed to indicate something is being erased. To me, it sounds more like when you move a straw up and down in a fast food cup. Additionally, if you push the lever all the way towards Elmo, he'll say "ELMOOOOOO." Pushing it towards Cookie Monster will result in a scary as hell voice saying "COOOOOOKIEEEEEEE."
My primary concern with the Giggle Doodler is the volume of the sounds described above. It's loud. Mind bogglingly loud. Painfully loud. In fact, it's late enough in 2005 for me to feel comfortable saying that "It's loud" might be the understatement of the year. Neighbors have started complaining. We've had it for less that a week, the cops have been over twice telling us to "keep it down."
As you can tell from the following chart, I'm not exaggerating:
I guess I should be thankful they kept it below the "Death of Hearing Tissue" threshold.
Comments
Jym Ferrier
said:
I'm never having kids
Jon said:
I guess my question would be: At what point in time did toy manufacturers decide that early hearing loss was a good developmental ideal?
In a related question, about how much training do you think I’ll need to crack open and install volume controls on any and all of these “toys?” Is that something that DeVry can help me with?
Radioactive Earwax said:
I think the chart's bogus. I mean seriously, pain begins *way* before you hit your ear with a power saw.
Though I'm sure the Giggle Doodler is placed right. Fisher-Price hates kids. Well, that's not true. They tolerate kids because kids = parents' money. My guess is there's some kind of under-the-table pork barrel palm greasing afoot between Fisher-Price and ... who's that company making pediatric hearing aids? Yeah. Them.
mep said:
Whew - I'm glad I didn't get that for my nephew then. Although . . . my sister is the one who would have to listen to the Elmo/Cookie nonsense, not me. :)
I said:
Jym - It's not that bad. The benefit of slight hearing loss is that I tend to sleep better.
jon - Note that this is the same company that made the fishbowl of death. Their motives are questionable.
RaE - I'd argue that Fisher-Price hates parents. The boy loves this thing, his mom and I are the ones who suffer.
mep - Yes, that would only have been a good gift if you hate your sister.
jasmine said:
i would try...
sticking gum in all the speaker holes. that will dull the sound a bit i think....
or wrap it in duct tape!
cadiz12 said:
whatever happened to good old-fashioned quiet fun, like Lincoln Logs?
Glo said:
Wow. We have that poster in the clinic. I thought we'd warned all the parents about that giggler. For lots of reasons. It's just...wrong.
Glo said:
Omar - Cate and I just noticed you're an IT god. You have successfully blocked our attempts to screw with your stats. We fall to your feet. Consider yourself worshipped ;)
anne arkham said:
I married the guy with no "inside voice". Not good. Definitely not good.
Cate said:
Merry Christmas!
demosthenes said:
Awesome post; made me laugh, but... is Cookie Monster eating Elmo's head? Or is it the other way around? Or is this just one, big cannibal-fest designed to subliminally turn our kids into barbarians?
jedith said:
Very nice post. Merry Christmas!