Clarification
For a long time now, I've kept my email address on the sidebar of my blog. Hardly anybody uses it, which is fine. Seriously, I don't care. I don't want your pity emails. Very few posts have inspired anyone to send me an email, as opposed to just leaving a comment. The one glaring exception is this post, about locker room etiquette. It was one of my first posts, written back when I didn't know anything about blogging or what this blog was going to be.
This post, though it has a modest 6 comments on the blog, is BY FAR the most popular post on my site. I regularly get 5-10 search hits per day that direct people to that post (see StatCounter screen shot below), and I have gotten DOZENS of emails about it. I haven't kept them, but I'd guess I've gotten 50 or more. Some of them comment on the post being funny and true. Occasionally, other locker room horror stories are shared. Many of them are from people who think I'm gay for looking at other men's man-parts. If I don't want to see them, I shouldn't be looking.
I'd just like to clarify my stance on this issue. If you prefer to walk around naked, that's cool. I'll high-five you, after you put some clothes on. See, it's not that I care about nudity. However, I DO care about your proximity to me and your interactions with me while you're naked. It's not about me having to resist the urge to stare. It's about naked people in my personal space.
The crux of my argument is that I don't think that by me going into a locker room, I'm consenting to being close to your bare testicles. Let's say we were at Burger King and you wanted to talk to me. It would not be acceptable for you to do so without wearing any clothes. While it is more acceptable to be naked in a locker room than a Burger King, I don't think the interaction or proximity-to-me aspect of it is any different.
And the part about sitting your bare butt on the locker room bench, well that's just not sanitary.
I hope this helps.
Comments
Glo said:
Uh...uh....if I admit to the appeal of bare....oh, no. Can't say a thing. I just better go and lie down....
Cate said:
Can't type...laughing...too hard...
Jym Ferrier
said:
I bet you are afraid of public restrooms too. It's no different than sitting on one of those toilet seats. Just suck it up and deal with it.
I said:
It is VERY different from a public toilet (which I do avoid when possible). It's pretty much only your legs and butt cheeks that touch a public toilet seat. That's all I'm saying.
anne arkham said:
YOu know, I've been meaning to write a post on this very same topic. My problem is not so much the naked people, but the things they do with their Q-tips.
Katie said:
Q-tips? No wait, I don't want to know. Bare bottoms on the seats are in fact a fairly disturbing thing indeed. I'm glad we have the clarification. I will never break locker room protocol now! Not that I have, but now I've been properly warned.
Radioactive Butt Cheeks said:
Nothing to add here, really, just couldn't pass up the opportunity to use such a fine, post context-oriented name change.
Viking said:
I'm sick of seeing naked people in Burger King too...
Nia said:
People, let me introduce you to "hovering"...there is absolutely no sense in touching a public pot. Plus... helps the thighs to stay nice and firm. That's multitasking for ya! Omar, kudos to you for demanding locker room etiquette!!
Syar said:
if you've got weak thigh muscles, hovering for the first time might cause you to sink further INTO the bowl, where other stuff other than bare butt cheeks have touched.*
do squats at home first. then maybe this technique is for you.
*This has never happened to me. But I fear one day it will.
Onj said:
It’s a little known fact that the English language does not actually possess a word that truly and accurately describes the horror and filth that occurs on a regular basis inside the men’s locker room. As to the public toilet seat comment, there are several universes of difference between that and the bench. For instance, you know exactly what’s happening on the toilet seat, however, the bench is a multi purpose station. And pretty much none of those multi purposes involve contact with a naked rear end. In fact, most of those purposes are carried out with the specific intention of avoiding contact with a naked rear end. If there is even the slightest chance that those goals could be compromised, the results could be catastrophic. Not to mention, at least with the toilet seat, you can count on the fact that it is a filthy, vile place and can thus be prepared to create an insulation barrier of toilet paper to sit on if hovering isn’t your thing. I refuse to compromise on this issue. When the technology becomes available, you can bet that I will be one of the first to have hover implants surgically inserted into my body so that I never have to touch another square inch of this increasingly putrid, filthy planet.
(Be honest, do I come off as a germophobe? Maybe just a little? I can’t tell…)
Tayster said:
I'm still wondering why someone is searching for "gelatinous baby poop" online? I swear, some people are sick & wrong.
mep said:
tayster and onj stole my comments. Who actually sits on gross public toilets - hovering isn't even necessary when you've got lots of toilet paper at your disposal.
And seriously - gelatinous baby poop? There are people surfing their blogroll during their lunchbreak.
Viking said:
I guess that's the kind of attention you get when you're a 4...
cadiz12 said:
dude, hovering is where it's at. the papering takes too long and you're building muscle control. AND you're not touching anything.
think about this, omar: you might put the towel you're later going to use to wipe your brow on that bench...
I said:
There were times when I was concerned about the boy's poop, and I probably spent some time on the internet researching it. However, if I'm looking for serious results, I certainly wouldn't search for "poop." I don't get it either.
Q-tips, anne? I'm afraid to ask. I guess I'll keep an eye out in case you ever post about it.
And onj, it's good to have you back. That's a jon comment of old. If only we could get you posting more...
viking, I'd bet foursarewhores.com is still available.