The Answer
Things have been busy, I've been stressed, blah blah. Enter the wife. She knows me like Bill Gates knows money. She knew exactly what would be the cure. She got me one of these:

I am a believer in television, especially commercials. Anyone who has seen the Staples commercials knows that these Easy Buttons™ make things, well, easy. Apparently, you can just go to a Staples store and buy one of these. Proceeds go to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Easy AND charitable. If you're feeling overwhelmed, if there's anything that'll help make you feel better, this is it.
The rewards were instant. I had a bunch of email in my account that I was having some trouble keeping up with. One push of the Easy Button™ and they were all gone. I assume they just got sorted into appropriate sub-folders, but frankly, I didn't have time to verify that. The important thing is that they were gone.
I got caught in some mild traffic on the way to work. One simple press, and the road was clear. What do I care what happened to those other cars or people? I got to work on time. It's about me. Me and my Easy Button™. I didn't think that anything would be able to take the place of the BlackBerry in my heart. Sure, the Easy Button™ won't help me read my email from the toilet. But find me something else it can't do.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
I can't wait until spring. Bring it on, vole. Bring it on.



Comments
Glo said:
I'm getting one today. Definitely a necessity...
Lia said:
I need one of those. I think I have a whole list of people to give them to. But first one for me. Cuz if we're gonna be selfish about it, let's do it right!
Cate said:
Duuuude, I have GOT to get me one of those!
Radioactive Buttons said:
Does it come with a comprehensive, well-written User's Manual? Cause I'm breaking out in stress-hives just looking at it.
wendela said:
Yeah, Omar, it looks "easy" and has worked okay so far. It's not foolproof. When it comes to that vole, remember the tv commercial. The guy hit the button and the co-worker guy ended up in a cupboard. Thus, the vole may end up _____(fill in the blank)!
anne arkham said:
I'd kinda like to buy a "Difficult" button and use it on other people.
cadiz12 said:
i'm going to get one for the office. we are in dire need of a few laughs.
jasmine said:
so if i had one of those and i pressed it when i walked into the front door of my apt building...would it zoom me up the five flights i usually have to walk??
Nadia said:
Does it work on people? As in, "Hey, you're cute, but I don't think you're quite easy enough...", so...BAM!
And then literally.
Glo said:
That was easy!
X said:
Does it work on people? As in, "Hey, you're cute, but I don't think you're quite easy enough...", so...BAM!
Be careful what you wish for, young Nadia. I wish I had a "difficult" button.
---X