Message to Future Parents XX: Helmets Required
Do you have your driver's license? Think back to the days when you were first learning to drive. There were so many things you were trying to pay attention to at once. You were so focused on keeping both hands on the wheel and keeping your eyes forward, that perhaps you forgot to use your turn signal. Or maybe, as you were learning to parallel park, you were trying so hard to miss the curb that you tapped the bumper of your neighbor's Porsche Boxster. You made mistakes, but the mistakes were because you were too intently focused on one thing, and not on the big picture.
Fast forward a couple of years. You're very comfortable driving around at this point. You're on your way to pick up your significant other, you're going out on a hot date. You're at a stop light. Out of your peripheral vision, you see the car next to you begin to drive forward. You move your foot to the gas, and you promptly roll right into the bumper of your neighbor's BMW 325i. It turned out that the lane next to you had a green arrow, your light was still red. You're still making mistakes, but these are because of carelessness, as you got too focused on your destination without paying enough attention to the journey.
These same theories apply when kids are learning to walk. When they start, they're focused on mechanics. Their hands are up, their legs are wide. They move forward, careful step by careful step. Of course they fall, but it's more out of inexperience than anything else. It's hard to focus on moving the left foot properly while balancing on the right foot, and keeping the hands and head steady, etc.
Now, months after the boy has learned to walk, he's gotten clumsier. Why? Carelessness. He is so focused on his destination, he doesn't pay attention to the threshold, the toy, or the chair standing in his way. Consequently, he stumbles and bumps his head on something. Or he trips and falls and bumps his head on something. Or, the barrier he ignored is higher, and he simply bumps his head on something without tripping or stumbling first. The barriers change, but the result is the same: the head will get bumped. He won't fall and skin his knee, he won't hit his funny bone. He will bump his head.
It turns out that as a parent, there's very little you can do about it. I'd give him a helmet to wear, but he'd figure out how to take it off and throw it on the floor. Then he'd try to run away, trip on it, and bump his head.



Comments
Katie said:
He needs those bumps, to soften his head for further brain development. It's a way of ensuring that his brain never encounters a brick-wall type skull, and instead one that is mushy, kind of like a balloon. See, it makes perfect sense.
cadiz12 said:
as long as he's not banging his head in a bucket against a wall like that kid in 'Parenthood,' you're on the right track.
Syar said:
maybe if the helmet has stickers on them, he won't throw it off. and a few boxes of juice attached to it with straws coming out of them.
my motto (as of just now) if it doesn't work, ACCESSORIZE.
wendela said:
I like syar's idea and new motto.
Don't worry- kids do this (the head bumps) and end up okay (other than that early adolescent time frame).
Radioactive Bimp said:
You're not pointing and laughing at him when it happens, right? Those are some of my earliest memories.
And the vandalizin' vole - definitely worth those 47 pageloads.
(Someone has to provide statistical balance for all those first-timers, right? Otherwise the universe gets *real* cranky.)
Seventeen Syllables said:
Omar, you should compile a parenting book, you describe it all so perfectly. My boy still falls down a lot at 3 1/2 and I choose to believe that it's because his unusally large & meaty brain is making him topheavy, not that a lack of coordination is keeping him from being the next Tiger Woods.
mep said:
Well aren't you metaphorically referring to what you will experience with parenthood for the rest of the boy's 17 years to adulthood. It's not going to get any easier to let the boy "fall" and "bump his head" but as a parent at least you can be there to say, "there there now, you'll be all right. try again." And you're right - he's always going to find a way to thwart your attempts to protect him. That's just how things work with parents and kids.
Glo said:
And...the helmet would throw off his center of gravity so that he would fall more...thus causing him to injure a new part of the body.
"Toddler" It means what it says.
zoe said:
what a naughty, naughty vole...no one can emphasize a point quiet like hime.. more of the VOLE!!!