Who shot the TV executive?
Dear TV executive people,
I am writing to let you know that I hate you. Not in teenager slamming the door "I hate you" kind of way, no, I mean that deep down inside, I really don't like you. I'll try to organize this hate letter in the most understandable way possible, but I'll have to ask for your forgiveness in advance, in the event that I start to ramble.
Section I: The Season Finale
There is only one season finale for a show. You can't have parts one through 3 of a finale. A finale, by definition, is the LAST part of something. It's like how they made sequels to the movie "Final Destination." You can't have a second final of something. The second to last show in a season is NOT THE FINALE. I feel like we're only a couple of years away from you trying to tell me that the season premiere of a show is part one of a 20-part season finale. And while I said that in jest, you're probably picking up the phone to pitch the idea to your boss right now, aren't you?
Section II: The Champion Cheater
Is it any wonder that young people don't take marriage seriously anymore? My two favorite shows these days are probably The Office and Grey's Anatomy. The Office finale on Tuesday (which was thankfully kept to one episode) finished with an engaged Pam kissing the guy who she's probably in love with, who is NOT her fiance. Grey's Anatomy, a show riddled with infidelity, featured McSlutty (Meredith) and married McCheaty (Derek) having the sex. But McCheaty is apparently justified, because Mrs. McCheaty cheated on him.
Now, I'm not going to try to play the moral high ground. I've broken the speed limit. I've swiped some candy. I shot JR. I watch 24, primarily because Jack kills lots of people. But there is a difference. I would argue that most 18-35 year olds know that though they see Jack kill someone on TV, they should not go run out on the street and try to kill people. Murder and death have consequences that adults can understand. That's not true for cheating on your spouse/partner. And by you writing it in your scripts so flippantly, having all your "cool" characters cheat, you are negatively affecting my generation. If I wanted to watch a soap opera, I'd do so. I thought you prime time TV people were above that.
Section III: Cliffhangers
I need conclusions. The idea of a cliffhanger is that you make me wait for a conclusion so that I keep watching. That's fine. What angers me is when you leave me hanging... then you DON'T LET ME HAVE MY CONCLUSION. Did you see the last episode of "Without A Trace"? Two people went missing. Then at the end, they told us that one of them was found alive, the other dead. Then the show ended. They didn't tell me which one died and which one lived. And this isn't the type of show that often carries storylines from one episode to the next, so I have no reason to believe I will ever find out. Every last ounce of me wanted to kick Jerry Bruckheimer in the face that night (I still do, just not as intensely). I will not continue to watch a show that gives me questions with no answers. You hear me, Bruckheimer?
In conclusion, I
Comments
Katie said:
I have an intense need to kick you in the face. Cliffhangers are cruel and unusual punishment for those who read. ::harumph:: Anyways, I gave up on TV, but I'm glad to see that someone else is attacking the producers for their idiotic mistakes.
Radioactive Minion said:
Try to remember: the only reason TV programming exists is to fill that unavoidable and unpleasant space between commercials, and (ideally) to "make" you watch those little 30-second shows that pay for obscenely high TV exec salaries.
Glo said:
A rousing hear! hear! on the last episode of Without a Trace. I threw socks at the TV in protest.
I missed Pam kissing _____?! CRAP! Life without Tivo SUCKS!!!
But I'm kinda excited about next season's 24-part season finale of 24...
Jon said:
First of all, for the record, I would just like to state that MythTV (http://www.mythtv.org// ) rocks. I will not entertain any contrary opinions on that.
Having said that, cliffhangers for season finales on popular shows are the worst idea ever. We like the show, we’re coming back. You seem to think you deserve having the whole summer off while I only get 2 weeks off a year. At least let me maintain my sanity while you lounge around in the Bahamas. I don’t need to spend 3 or 4 months wondering what happened to my favorite characters.
And while I’m here, why isn’t there a separate summer season? Why not have a second summer season full of new shows to entertain us peasants? I don’t stop watching TV during the summer, so why not give me something entertaining to watch?
At this point, I’d like to extend an open offer to all major and minor TV networks to let me run the shows. I will not jerk the audiences around. I will provide quality entertainment on a consistent, reliable basis. Thank you.
mep said:
Ahhhhhhh!
I am not going to be able to sleep tonight without knowing how your thoughtfully written letter would have ended or did actually end. I can't stand the suspense.
*sigh* First TV now omarphillips.net
cadiz12 said:
mcslutty!! what a perfect name for her. dude, the only thing that sucks about that show is ellen pompeo. ever notice that she flails her arms around like chicken? ugh. i agree about the 2-parter finale, but it doesnt' matter to me, i never watch it live anyway.
while you're at correcting these numbskulls, can you please do something about them jerking us around with new/rerun bait and switches? (particularly ABC, btw).
and though i dont' watch without a trace, i believe bruckheimer needs to stick with what works -- the amazing race.
Viking said:
It's about time somebody put this stuff in writing. I don't even watch network TV anymore, except for 24 and House.
elasticwaistbandlady said:
We gave up TV two years ago amidst the wild proliferation of reality shows. Amazing Race is redeemable and interesting but the rest of them? Everything I enjoy gets canceled quickly so I'm thankful for DVD releases of television shows. Note to everybody, find WonderFalls, rent it, and enjoy a really quirky, funny, creative, and smart little comedy that met it's demise way too soon.
elasticwaistbandlady said:
The more I think about it I have another issue for you to crusade about Omar. Trashy, commercials rife with nekkid people and adult situations during the family hour. That was the main impetus to us cutting off TV years ago. Nothing like sitting down as a family to watch American Idol, and being bombarded with sex drenched ads for the O.C. and Temptation Island. My favorite was watching America's Funniest Videos one evening with my kids and they kept running promo spots for 20/20 featuring a special on Hogan Hero and amateur pornographer, Bob Crane. Nice.
Lianne said:
You know what else pissed me off? The second episode to Grey's Ass Anatomy was aired on THE WRONG FREAKING NIGHT.
How did McSlutty and McDreamy get in bed? I thought she was dating McVet??
I am so confused.
And seriously distraught thinking that I somehow care.
Cate said:
I gave up on Grey's Anatomy months ago - McSlutty (love the name, btw) was way too whiny and annoying and completely unreal in all her whininess.
I said:
Sorry I haven't commented yet, but I've been in hiding for fear of running into Katie. At least, until her intense need to kick me in the face subsides.
Screaming Buffalo said:
I think that Lianne is having a déjà vu moment.
What has been said is very true. I HATE cliffhangers, I mean, did anybody see The Unit or NCIS* last night (Tuesday)? Well in the Unit, the troops were having a celebration for a very successful mission and then out of nowhere...BOOM! There were a bunch of guys with Uzis. Anyway, the CO gets shot and then
And on NCIS, the Gill Grisham of the show (Gibbs) gets bombed, survives and then quits. See, that's another thing that I hate about TV writers when they are trying to boost ratings. They have one of the main characters quit or die and then they have to find a way to fit them into the story line coherently so that the viewers don't get pissed off.
And one more thing. In Alias, it's the last season becauase the storyline got kind of gay. And so to boost ratings (as with every show), the writers have turned the show into Reunion Central. Every single character that the writers have killed off have suddenly come back from the grave to make (at least) one last appearence. I have almost decided to boycott the friggin' show b/c of it's gayness**.
If I wrote TV shows, everyone would be happy because the shows and storylines would never be gay and the world would realize that Screaming Buffalo is the coolest, best TV show writer guy on the face of the Earth.
*The Unit is a new show on CBS that I found one day while being bored and without my car and NCIS is a relativley new show (newer than CSI) that I have been addicted to (along with Alias) for a long time.
**No offence to gay people, it's just that I get very picky about my TV shows and when the writers pull shit like they have been, well I just call that gay.