Tip for the single guys
It's "use it or lose it" time at work with regard to vacation days, so I'm treating myself to a long weekend. Luckily, this vacation time coincided with the first week of the boy's swim class.
Quick tangent: I don't know if I've mentioned it here before or not, but I hate water. As far as I'm concerned, it's good for three things: bathing, drinking, and keeping my lawn that lovely shade of emerald. I don't like oceans, lakes, ponds, pools, or even puddles. Wait, make that four things. I forgot about transporting sewage. Catching a whiff of the boy's diaper pail gave me a glimpse into a world where poop has to be removed manually. (shudder) So should we ever cross paths in person, don't ask me if I want to go for a swim, run through the sprinkler, go on a cruise, or walk in the rain. Baths are off limits too, but for a different reason.
So back to the boy's swim class. It's a little two week thing, only for a half hour per day. Kids his age can't handle much more than that, so it works well. The wife has been taking him, and they've both been having a blast. I was thrilled to be able to go this morning. I gathered all my camera supplies and hopped in the car with them.
The class is held at the local high school pool. There's a balcony-like viewing area above the pool, and that's where all the non-swimming parents and spectators go. So I excitedly went up to get a good spot. They had the pool split up into three or four sections, and classes were going on for kids of all ages. The start times of the classes were all staggered, so people were coming and going the entire time.
I leaned up against the rail, waving down to the wife and boy. Nothing cracks me up like the boy slapping the water and yelling "STASH!" (his version of "splash"), which he was doing often and with much delight. Anyway, as I'm sitting there smiling, waving, and taking photos of my wife and child who are only a few feet away, I got hit on by at least three women (there was a fourth, but her intentions were questionable). That's a woman-to-minute ratio of 1:10, far surpassing my old single days, when I would have considered a 1:30 ratio night "scrapbook-worthy." (I'm not really a scrapbooker, it's just how I refer to noteworthy events. Seriously, I'm not.)
I'm letting all my single friends know about this. Skip the speed dating, take a kid to swim class.
Comments
wendela said:
Some women find the dangerous or forbidden more exciting, omar. (We know you have danger written all over you.) :) One of my married friends said the same sort of thing- way more hitting on while he's wearing that ring. Hmmmm. Maybe they've seen you in one of your many film roles. Or maybe they were just dad-stalkers who hang out at kids' events (yikes). I know the swim class is only a couple weeks, but the danger may still be lurking- be sure to watch yourself at your next trip to the garden center.
Jon said:
So there’re just random women at this place, waiting to hit on guys? I’m not currently in the market, but who’d of thunk hanging out at the public pool would be the place to go…
Katie said:
According to my friends, women are always more attracted to the claimed guy. I don't get it, but there it is.
Syar said:
but maybe it only works for you Omar. we are reassured of your impeccable charm. (c'mon, that whole thing with JFK? I'm sure you got checked out for more than a minute). We know scrapbook-worthy for you happens all the time.
should you really be giving false hope to the singletons?
Glo said:
*This comment deleted by the She-shall-not-rant League at Glo.com*
cadiz12 said:
i've heard there's an element of "safety" by hitting on a married man; you know he's not going to pursue you. i don't really get it, either, but maybe the single ones don't give you a chance.
about the pool, it's really good one of you guys are actually there with him. i almost drowned in a swim class when i was four b/c they wouldn't let the parents out of that sky-high viewing area and my teacher was too busy flirting with the guy in the next lane to realize i had sputtered and gasped for air all the way to the deep end until my friend's mom came running down six flights of stairs screaming to call an ambulance.
Lianne said:
Omar, remember this: If you hate swimming, you shouldn't wear your speedo to the pool. Women love men in speedos.
But you knew that.
elasticwaistbandlady said:
Lucky for your wife that you harbor such an aversion to water.
It makes the skinny dipping invites from wily women much easier to resist.
I said:
I've been married for almost 5 years, a dad for a year and a half. I've been hit on before, but I'm telling you, this was different. The swimming pool ladies turned it up a notch.
carrotjello said:
I say you owe all the attention to Wendela and Lianne. The swimming pool ladies have obviously been reading their blogs.