1: Number of pens I ALWAYS have on me at any given time (unless you catch me while I'm in the shower or in bed, in which case, get out of my house)

1.5: Hours I spent in stores looking for a new pen last night, as my primary pen disappeared. (Don't worry, I had my backup pen with me.)

4: The number of stores I went to while looking for a new pen last night.

0: The number of pens I purchased last night.

17: US Dollars required to get the pen I want, the Fisher Space Pen. Unfortunately, though not surprisingly, the amount of money in the budget for space pens is $0.

204: The approximate number of Bic Roundstic pens I could purchase for $17.

250: Degrees fahrenheit that the Fisher Space Pen will endure while still functioning correctly. (It also writes in -30 degrees, at any angle, underwater, in a vacuum, or "over grease." If I had a dollar for every time I needed to write over grease...)

5: Number of seconds I figure I would endure 250 degrees fahrenheit before passing out and/or dying. I'd probably only be able to write a couple of short words in that time frame. Perhaps something clever, like "It's hot," or "2 legit."