To prove I'm a blog-buddy for the record books:

I've spent the last 245 months loving and supporting you while you work that dead-end Dietitian job, and this is how you repay me? The cat and dog I bought you are sitting on the floor in your closet, but this butter is important enough to stay with you in your car?

Abso-freakin-hilarious. Happy Milestone, Omar Phillips!

happy 300, buddy.

however i still think hanging onto a stapler from your cousin while the spaghetti and elephant schnukums gave you are rotting in the closet is a telling thing.

"..this is how you repay me? The manhole cover and ginsu knife I bought you are sitting on the floor in your closet, but this moose is important enough to stay with you in your car?" (of course he's not listening, as he's too busy playing Mario Kart.)

Congrats on the milestone.
Your Wading Blogbuddy, "Lovey"

'So what?!?' Jasmine interrupted. She was starting to turn red with anger. 'I can't believe you have the nerve to act like this is no big deal! I've spent the last three months loving and supporting you while you work that dead-end supervisor job, and this is how you repay me? The keyboard and stereo I bought you are sitting on the floor in your closet, but this poster is important enough to stay with you in your car? I'm tired of this. We're done. I'm getting my things, licking, and never coming back! Good luck finding someone else as promiscuous as me, or someone who will put up with this crap!'

As she started to storm off, Jack said, 'I hate to interrupt the licking, but do you even know who Cadiz is?'

Happy three hundred. Here's to three hundred more.

---X

I found Louisa's bra in Hector's car but he was too busy playing that damn Pac Man to even care. That's the treatment I get after buying him Indiana and a camera?

All the makings of Lifetime movie, right here.

Thanks Omar, you're the shiz! Happy 300th. Sometime when I have a spare day or two, and I suddenly stop having a life, I'll go back through the archives and catch up on the 250 or so that I missed.

If this were bowling instead of blogging, you'd still have a "perfect" game going. Congratulations, man.

"'Good luck finding someone else as hinky as me, or someone who will put up with this crap!'

As she started to storm off, Smedley said, 'I hate to interrupt the digging, but do you even know who Hortense is?'"

well of course you're going to keep anything that i give you. sorry, jas.

eh, grammar, schmammer. we know what you meant.

Misunderstanding

'We need to talk,' Clarice said.

Knowing that this couldn't be good, Bradstreet paused the game of Grand Theft Auto Vice City he was playing, then sat up. 'Sure honey buns, what's up?'

'Well first of all, you know I don't like it when you call me honey buns,' she snapped.

'Sorry.'

'Anyway,' she continued, 'we need to talk about this.' She pulled a toaster out from behind her back. 'I found it in your car when I borrowed it to go to the store. Care to explain what this is about?'

'What? It's just a toaster!! I can't believe you're freaking out about that.'

'I wouldn't freak out about it, if it didn't say 'To Bradstreet, Love Victoria Principal' written on the bottom.'

'So what? She's --'

'So what?!?'Clarice interrupted. She was starting to turn red with anger. 'I can't believe you have the nerve to act like this is no big deal! I've spent the last 245 months loving and supporting you while you work that dead-end CEO job, and this is how you repay me? The hammer and vole I bought you are sitting on the floor in your closet, but this toaster is important enough to stay with you in your car? I'm tired of this. We're done. I'm getting my things, running, and never coming back! Good luck finding someone else as predatory as me, or someone who will put up with this crap!'

As she started to storm off, Bradstreet said, 'I hate to interrupt the running, but do you even know who Victoria Principal is?'

'Don't even try that just-a-friend crap, because --'

'You remember when we went to my birthday party a few months ago, and you met my uncle Jerry and his daughter, Victoria Principal?'

'You mean this is your cousin Victoria Principal?'

'Feel free to continue running, I'm going back to Grand Theft Auto Vice City.'

'We need to talk,' Oprah said.

Knowing that this couldn't be good, Oprah paused the game of Oprah he was playing, then sat up. 'Sure Oprah, what's up?'

'Well first of all, you know I don't like it when you call me Oprah,' she snapped.

'Sorry.'

'Anyway,' she continued, 'we need to talk about this.' She pulled a Oprah out from behind her back. 'I found it in your car when I borrowed it to go to the store. Care to explain what this is about?'

'What? It's just a Oprah!! I can't believe you're freaking out about that.'

'I wouldn't freak out about it, if it didn't say 'To Oprah, Love Oprah' written on the bottom.'

'So what? She's --'

'So what?!?'Oprah interrupted. She was starting to turn red with anger. 'I can't believe you have the nerve to act like this is no big deal! I've spent the last 4 months loving and supporting you while you work that dead-end Oprah job, and this is how you repay me? The Oprah and Oprah I bought you are sitting on the floor in your closet, but this Oprah is important enough to stay with you in your car? I'm tired of this. We're done. I'm getting my things, fretting, and never coming back! Good luck finding someone else as fetch as me, or someone who will put up with this crap!'

As she started to storm off, Oprah said, 'I hate to interrupt the fretting, but do you even know who Oprah is?'

'Don't even try that just-a-friend crap, because --'

'You remember when we went to my birthday party a few months ago, and you met my uncle Jerry and his daughter, Oprah?'

'You mean this is your cousin Oprah?'

'Feel free to continue fretting, I'm going back to Oprah.'

Don't you worry about funding my man, that'll all be remedied come #350...

that's funny, dem. Oprah, Oprah, Oprah, fretting, Oprah... *giggles*

that's funny, dem.
Oprah, Oprah, fretting, Oprah.

i giggle at that.

Misunderstanding

'We need to talk,' LaDonna said.

Knowing that this couldn't be good, Angus paused the game of DeathWorm 2000 he was playing, then sat up. 'Sure Pumpkin, what's up?'

'Well first of all, you know I don't like it when you call me Pumpkin,' she snapped.

'Sorry.'

'Anyway,' she continued, 'we need to talk about this.' She pulled a tiny spy flashlight out from behind her back. 'I found it in your car when I borrowed it to go to the store. Care to explain what this is about?'

'What? It's just a tiny spy flashlight!! I can't believe you're freaking out about that.'

'I wouldn't freak out about it, if it didn't say 'To Angus, Love Shirley' written on the bottom.'

'So what? She's --'

'So what?!?'LaDonna interrupted. She was starting to turn red with anger. 'I can't believe you have the nerve to act like this is no big deal! I've spent the last 47 months loving and supporting you while you work that dead-end Assistant Groundskeeper job, and this is how you repay me? The nail file and inhaler I bought you are sitting on the floor in your closet, but this tiny spy flashlight is important enough to stay with you in your car? I'm tired of this. We're done. I'm getting my things, snorkeling, and never coming back! Good luck finding someone else as sparkly as me, or someone who will put up with this crap!'

As she started to storm off, Angus said, 'I hate to interrupt the snorkeling, but do you even know who Shirley is?'

'Don't even try that just-a-friend crap, because --'

'You remember when we went to my birthday party a few months ago, and you met my uncle Jerry and his daughter, Shirley?'

'You mean this is your cousin Shirley?'

'Feel free to continue snorkeling, I'm going back to DeathWorm 2000.'

crap! damned error mesages that make it look like your comment was lost in the internet tubes, and then reposting, but not remembering what you typed the first time, and then a double post happens as a result, and then you realize that it's not so bad because your goal for the weekend was to pad the comments as much as possible so that the 4000th would fall on the 300th, and even though no one else really cares, you still can play off the double post like you MEANT to do it, because of your padding plan.

Nobody else used "little cabbage" as a term of endearment, or received a Juggernaut from their relative. Congrats, Omar!

'Feel free to continue pouring, I'm going back to Grand Theft Auto.'

man, I hope that's not a real life break up scenario, because I put my name in as the female name.

that's right people, when I'm mad, I POUR!

happy 300th Omar!

How do you engrave a message on a pretzel? I want personalized pretzels!

Oh, yeah, happy 300th.