A few days ago, I took the boy to the zoo. We're members there, and he really enjoys looking at the animals. That is, as long as the animals don't move, particularly not in his direction, as this will result in him shrieking in terror. Then parents passing by always give me that, "why are you torturing your child?" look. Then I return the "but he's been talking about the whino and elphant all day! he wanted to do this!" look. But I always feel like that sentiment is too complex to be conveyed by just a look, and that other parents continue to think I'm a bad parent.

Anyway, we were passing by the indoor portion of the rhino exhibit. Our zoo has two white rhinos on loan from somewhere else for the season. One of them is fine, he pees, he kicks around huge piles of his own poop, and generally does other normal rhino things. Quite charming. The other, however, never goes outside. In fact, he remains enclosed in a rather small indoor cage. A sign posted next to the cage says why (click on the image for a larger view to read the text):

Though I feel badly about the rhino and his cuts and scrapes, I did have to chuckle at how much the situation was sugar coated for the sake of the kids. What they really meant to say was:

"Roscoe is cut up like that girl in the original 'Nightmare on Elm Street.' He has been desperately trying to get the hell out of here and run in the wild, as his instincts tell him he's supposed to do.

Rhinos have very thick skin. These cuts are like a scraped knee, shoulder, back, face, stomach, and foot.

His keepers and veterinarians are watching him carefully. Our lawyers are checking our insurance policy and contract with the lending zoo to make sure we're not liable, so that we don't have to triple your admission price next year.

They will heal quickly as he adjusts to his new small cage that we will not let him out of until it's time for him to go back home."