Each of the last few years, we have competed with our next door neighbors to see who gets more trick or treaters on Halloween. It's really quite detailed, as each household tallies the number of visitors in 15 minute increments. At the end of the night, the results are entered into an Excel spreadsheet. The final result is a printed out graph, complete with clip art ghosts and pumpkins, put in the opponent's mailbox by the next morning. We take our competition very seriously.

In the two years that we've been neighbors, they've beaten us both times. This even counts the year I was dressed up as Don King. Though, most of the kids thought I was a "mad scientist," because they had no idea who Don King was. What kind of mad scientist wears a tuxedo and a huge fake diamond ring in the shape of a dollar sign? Morons.

Anyway, longtime omarphillips.net visitors might remember this, from last year. At the time, I promised that I'd do better next year. I'd like to confirm that I'm still committed to this, and I will do better this year. We're done messing around. No more jack-o-lanterns that would rather go shopping. We're getting serious. Orange lights. Multiple jack-o-lanterns with frightening faces. Top quality candy (I'll test it myself). No "keep off the grass" signs. No calling the kids morons for not knowing who Don King is. Actual corpses on the front porch.

Even the ninjas are with me. I'm not usually big on offering up bulletin board material for the opponents, but I'm feeling pretty confident about this one: we will probably win.