An open letter to Procter & Gamble
Dear makers of Pepto Bismol:
I've felt nauseated quite a bit over the years. I've had heartburn. Occasionally, I experience indigestion. "Upset stomach" is my middle name. And diarrhea, well, we're entirely too familiar. I've got bad intestines, and I've experienced diarrhea way more times than I care to discuss, and probably 1 + way more times than you care to read about.
A universal sign for "I feel the need to vomit" is to put your hand to your mouth. I've rubbed my chest when I had heartburn, even though I know it will not help one bit. Likewise, for indigestion and upset stomach, I've put my hand to my belly. I guess it may have a little bit of a pacifying effect, and it also signals to others that I'm in some sort of distress. However, not one time in my 29 years have I put my hands to my butt when I've felt a bout of diarrhea coming on.
I've been holding that in (no pun intended) since I first saw this series of commercials, a couple of years ago. But as I continue to see more come out -- more of your commercials, that is -- I am reminded of how impractical that gesture is.
Sincerely,
Omar Phillips
Comments
cadiz12 said:
why would anyone do that? that girl looks like she's trying to catch something back there. GROSS
this is precisely why i don't watch commercials anymore. thanks DVR!
Rhonda said:
LOL...you haven't done the diarrhea dance?
I have never held my hands to my rear to signal everyone of an impending blowout, but once I paid someone money to let me cut in the bathroom line. That was a sad, sad day.
Syar said:
I....
I've nothing to properly say to this. Just incoherent blabber. Thanks P&G.
Radioactive Dia-- Never mind. said:
Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. That's all I'm saying.
Becky said:
i will have to check this out once i get home. youtube is blocked at work. i can imagine how it looks, though, and as a fellow diarrheal person, i generally don't want my hands anywhere near my ass when an attack hits.
haboob.
glo said:
When I first saw the commercials, I thought - well, that'll be short-lived. And now...I have NO clue what freaky focus group keeps approving the ads. I feel old that I just wrote something which indicates I've actually invested thought into the background and creation of the Pepto-Bismal spots on TV.
Lia said:
Thanks for the warning. I will now not go watch the commercial. I just ate lunch.
elasticwaistbandlady said:
I once wrote a tender ballad for my ailing Papi entitled "Feminism And Diarrhea." I debuted it while he was taking one of many showers during the day courtesy of intestinal flu.
Obviously, the gift of music lives within me.
demosthenes said:
This tactic just decreases the flow radius and, as any citizen semi-versed in physics/common sense knows, increases pressure. That leads to the diarrhea spewing out BETWEEN your vainly-spread fingers at angles from which your friends thought they were safe. Hah.
Vulgar Wizard said:
I couldn't agree with you more! Have you heard the radio commercial where the woman sings "dia, dia, dia, diarrheeeeeeaaaaaaa" at the top of her lungs? Gaaahhhh!!!