By the Numbers: Thanksgiving Edition
2 - Number of dinners I ate on Thanksgiving.
5,300 - Estimated number of calories I consumed.
200 - Estimated number of calories the boy consumed, as he decided that he didn't want to eat anything on the eatingest day of the year.
1 - Number of paternity tests I demanded, because seriously, he might look like me, but how could he be my son and not eat on Thanksgiving day?!? We're scheduled for next week on Maury.
4 - Number of bites of turkey I ate on Thanksgiving. It would be weird to have Thanksgiving without turkey, but I'm never really that wild about it.
6 - Time of day that I was at Target this morning. I'm a "black Friday" regular. I like to watch people temporarily give up their sanity to save a few dollars. Also, I'm a black guy, so it was the least I could do to support my people.
0 - Number of additional race-related jokes there will be in this post.
1,000,000 - Approximate number of other people at Target at 6am this morning.
99 - Percentage of people I saw at Best Buy and Target this morning who were purchasing a television. I checked, they were not giving them away for free. EVERYONE had a tv in their cart, except for those two with carts already filled with DVD players and George Foreman Grills.
2 - Number of loud arguments I witnessed this morning while at Target and Best Buy. All involved parties were women (notable only because there was, surprisingly, a pretty even mix of men and women out this morning). One involved a woman who was, by my estimation, about 10.5 months pregnant.
10 - Number of items I added to my own Christmas list after my shopping trip today.
Comments
Becky said:
PILGRIM DISSIN' PHILLIPS
no, seriously, happy thanksgiving.
Radioactive Cartman said:
1 - number of TVs I bought on Friday.
2 - number of additional TVs I plan to buy before Christmas.
Get with the program, man! Did you miss the memo or what?
glo said:
I spent Thanksgiving on the Apache Reservation in Arizona (details to follow). When we got up at 9 on Friday morning, the Res felt like a ghost town. It was seriously SciFi. Not a soul left in sight - but a drive by the Wal-Mart let us know we were NOT the last living souls...just the last ones not shopping.
cadiz12 said:
i used to be okay with crowds, but years of dungeon-y solitude makes me very afraid of throngs of people. especially those i'd have to fight to get an appliance. but believe me, if i needed that tv, i'd sure as hell get me one, whether the other guy was 10.5 months pregnant or not.
carrot jello said:
You didn't mention the number of people you had to push out of the way, or the number of people you knocked out cold. What's up with that?
elasticwaistbandlady said:
I hope the wee ninjas came along for the shopping adventure. Taking advantage of their cuteness to cut into long lines is what its all about. Right?
The toddlers are rebelling, Omar. My Melody refused to eat Thanksgiving dinner too, and ended up pilfering all the marshmallows out of our Lucky Charms cereal to eat. My Lucky Charms are sadly no longer magically delicious.
:(