The boy and I went to the grocery store to get a new battery for the remote for my garage door opener. As we got to the battery section, I took a look at the batteries, and it occurred to me that I had no idea what size to get. I knew it was a non-standard size, and I had it narrowed down to two possibilities, but I didn't want to have to worry with exchanging a purchase.

With the boy riding in the shopping cart, I went back to the car to get the current battery out of the remote. I stopped the cart next to my car, open the door, and leaned in to get the remote and remove the battery. As I was fumbling with the battery, I heard the boy say, "Open!" As I looked up, I saw his hand on the handle of the rear driver's side door of the car next to mine. He had not only been fooling with the handle, but apparently it was unlocked, as he had slightly opened someone else's car door. (I know he knows how to open car doors, but when he's standing on the ground, he doesn't have enough leverage to be able to lift the handle and pull the door, because he's too short. But apparently, he has no problems doing it while sitting in a shopping cart.)

I pulled his hand away, and I went to close the door. As I was doing this, I quickly got a bad feeling inside. You know what I'm talking about, it's that "oh crap, I'm being watched as I close some stranger's car door and now I'm going to have to explain that my one year old kid did it but nobody is going to believe me because I'm a young unshaven black guy with dirty pants on" feeling. Sure enough, out of my peripheral vision, I saw an older gentleman standing at the back of the car. It was the car's owner.

Embarrassed, I awkwardly smiled and offered my apologies. The guy said nothing, nor did he smile. He just gave a little nod, then got in his car and left. I can't blame him, as I too would not see the humor in coming back to my car to find some stranger closing the door.

I'll have you know that I spent the first 28 years of my life without ever having a family member try to frame me for a crime, and in the past year, my own son has done it twice. Earlier this year, it was misdemeanor petit larceny. Now, felony auto theft. I had to give him my "you've got one foot in the orphanage and the other on a banana peel" warning speech. He may not have understood it fully, but I think he got the gist.