Message to Future Parents XXIII: Think Fast
It was the end of a pretty normal work day. I got home, where the wife and the boy were already waiting for me. Before I even had my jacket off, the boy ran up and stood suspiciously close to me. As I started to greet him, he said:
"Daddy, whassa muskox say?"
"...What?"
He repeated, though I think it was more because I hadn't answered yet than it was because I had no idea what he was talking about. The wife walked up and offered me some much-needed context. There was a picture of a musk ox in one of his books, and he was asking me what noise musk oxen make. In hindsight, his question really was quite clear.
"Um... a musk ox? I... um, I'm not sure. I've never heard a musk ox."
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For his birthday, the boy got a Magna Doodle. Over the holidays, he would regularly hand it to one of us and ask us to draw various items, like snowmen, candy canes, and snowflakes, so that he could immediately erase it. Erasing is the fun part for him. He loves it.
The other day, he handed it to me and asked - no, demanded that I draw a manatee. He's asked for other animals before, like elephants and rhinos. And while I can't draw those animals either, I have enough knowledge of them to be able to crudely sketch one up. But a manatee?
---
Initially, I figured these were just instances of good old toddler curiosity. And while I'm sure there is some genuine curiosity involved, I'm now fairly certain that he's just messing with me. He doesn't care what a musk ox says. And I swear that he was holding back laughter when he was asking me to draw a manatee. He's only doing this to watch me sweat. He's taking advantage of my parental need to respond to his curiosity. This is a game to him. A game that, to this point, he is winning.
When he asked about the musk ox, I should have just answered. I should have just made up a noise and tagged it as the "musk ox noise." He asked for a manatee, I should have just drawn a blob with fins and called him "Manny the Manatee." I've been thinking all along that the goal is to be accurate, but isn't. What fact-checking is a toddler going to do? The goal is to be fast. You must answer quickly in order to avoid defeat.
For the record, I've been practicing how to draw one, so that I'm prepared should he ask me again in the future:
Comments
Becky said:
not bad, as far as magnadoodle manatees go. that's pretty much how they look. but they are much more beautiful in the water.
and i don't think i've ever even HEARD of musk oxen. what the crap is that about?
Jon said:
You just brought back memories of a low point in my life. Now I will share it with you.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/dugong/
jazzy said:
not too shabby phillips.
what do the ronalds think of it?
Radioactive Jam said:
I bet the Ronalds drew it.
glo said:
That's a right impressive manatee. And the kid's a genius.
wendela said:
Magnadoodles are great!
One smart boy you have there, Omar. Most toddlers don't ask for manatees to be drawn or for the sound of a musk ox. Watch out. Just a friendly warning.
(And I do think he'd do some fact-checking.)
demosthenes said:
I was going to ask for a photo of the attempted manatee depiction, but by the time I got done reading, voila... there it was.
As for the musk ox... well shoot, they'll probably be extinct due to global warming by the time he's old enough to investigate, so you may as well have fun with it and do something preposterous.
Rhonda said:
That manatee rocks!
Did I miss Messages to Future Parents I - XXII? I need all the help I can get.
Jonathan said:
In case he asks again -
"Ovibos moschatus (Muskox) has very interesting vocal abilities. Calves, when communicating with cows or each other, bleat. The pitch of the bleat lowers with maturity. Adults have deeper voices that sound closer to roars and rumbles that can be heard long distances. Adults also grunt and snort at each other, at calves, and at other animals. Pushing and shoving, as well as chasing and stomping, are used to communicate dominance."
from -
http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Ovibos%20moschatus.html
Good luck with that.
Also, "The muskox has an amazing coat that helps it survive in -40°C temperatures, high winds, and blowing snow." Sounds like a very fitting pet for the weather we are having.
"Is this the 5000th post"
refresh
"Nope still hidden"
btw - Thanks, I learned something new looking up Musk Ox.
I said:
I'll admit that The Ronalds offered some constructive criticism. But the drawing was otherwise all mine.
Though I want to make sure it's known that this is AFTER practicing. This was not the first take.
Rhonda, the first 22 are there, but your daughter is old enough now for them to not be all that helpful anymore. Maybe the info would be good for her little brother or sister? Eh?
Syar said:
That's a pretty decent manatee. It'd be better if there was a banner above it proclaiming that he is, in fact,Manny The Manatee. Better cover all your bases.
I personally think this is his revenge for you beating him at Elefun.
Nadia said:
That manatee looks suspiciously happy for a creature with disproportionately tiny arms.
What kind of miracle drug are the Ronalds testing on it?!
cadiz12 said:
i think i've warned you before, that kid is just building on what will be a long career of outsmarting you. good luck.
oh, and for the love of god, don't click on that "dugong" link. i'd heard it before and it gets into my head whenever manatees are mentioned. and STAYS. for DAYS.
"it's the cow of the Sea-HEE-HEE!!!!"
elasticwaistbandlady said:
I only enjoy manatees named Barbara.
You need to buy the boy the Veggie Tales Cd, and then he'll demand that you draw the manatee with a ball gown and tiara on her.
Jon said:
Hey, that dugong song isn't as bad as the crab song... I didn't link the crab song because I do have some sense of decency.
glo said:
It's important to met to comment frequently. Even when I have nothing to say.
Comment, comment, comment.
Becky said:
me, too.
pad pad libary pad
irregardless
haboob axe libary pad
pad pad haboob
Lia said:
Commenting even after 5000 has been reached shows serious dedication to omarphillips.net.
Nice manatee.