Fine, 21st century. You win. I got a cell phone.

I opened the packaging last night, put the battery in, and charged it up. When it finished charging, I picked it up and turned it on. It immediately goes into some "setup wizard." The first option is to pick the default menu language. The options were:

-Smart card (SIM) default
-English
-Spanish
-French

I'm sure the SIM default is English, but because I wanted to be sure, I pressed the down arrow. Nothing happened, the cursor was still on the SIM default option. I pressed it again. Still nothing. So I pressed the "Enter" key. I pressed it again. And again. And probably a few more times. (It should be noted that all this happened in the span of 5 seconds, I'm a bit impatient sometimes.)

Just as I was about to start getting concerned, the phone suddenly started responding - to all the previous keystrokes I made. When it finally settled, I was about 5 screens deep into the Spanish version of the setup wizard. It turns out that I've retained very little from my one semester of Spanish in college. I hollered for the wife, who can read/understand Spanish. We managed to back up enough to get back to the language choice menu. My Spanish skills were good enough to determine that the option I wanted was "Inglés." (I never understood why language option menus don't always display each language name the way it's spelled in that language. Some do, but most I've seen don't.)

Since then, things have gone quite smoothly. Of course, all that is liable to change when the first bill arrives.