An open letter to Fashion
Dear Fashion:
You and I have always had an understanding. We very rarely are ever on the same page, but it's always been kind of a "you stay out of my way, I'll stay out of yours" relationship.
Recently, I had noticed a bit of a disturbing trend, where you make men's clothes tight. This has always been an issue with pants, because you insist on making pants that don't have enough room in the thighs and butt, forcing me to buy pants with larger than necessary waists. It has made me mad, but I've been able to work around it. In the past couple years, this disturbing trend of making tight clothes has spread to shirts, forcing me to buy larger sizes than I have in the past in order to get the same "loose-but-not-overly-baggy" fit I like.
I know what you're thinking, Fashion. "In the past, Omar, you weren't as fat as you are now." First of all, shut your face. Second, you're right. I have gained weight over the past 5 years. However, I still have L and XL shirts from years ago that fit me now just like they did when I first bought them.
This weekend, I had to go buy a new winter jacket. My old Columbia jacket (size L, purchased in 2002) was in pretty bad shape. I like Columbia jackets, as they are warm and generally windproof. So I went to the store to look for a new one. I started with size L section, and I could barely fit in those. I went to XL, which sort of fit, as long as I didn't want to raise my arms more than 12 inches away from my sides. In order to get a jacket that fits just like my current size L jacket fits, I had to move to the XXL section. Two jackets, same brand, close to the same fit, two sizes different. I don't blame Columbia for this, I blame you for telling Columbia that tight is "in."
Fashion, you have tried to rattle my confidence in the past, when you told me my soccer-player thighs were too big or that my feet were too wide. But nothing you have ever done has made me feel quite so fat as I did this weekend, when you made me have to purchase an XXL jacket.
Our "understanding" is officially over. I hate you.
Sincerely,
Omar
Comments
jazz said:
i wouldn't think that columbia would pay attention to fashion. they don't seem at all fashion forward.
you sure you weren't shopping in the kids section?
Jonathan said:
Hear, Hear
Can you write a letter to fast food too? Seems like everytime I order a large drink at one of those resturants its a different size than it was last time.
Radioactive Jam said:
What is this 'jacket' of which you speak? For that matter, what is this 'winter'...
Mr. 5000 said:
I’ve had a few run ins with this “Tightness Trend.” I am not a fan. Fashion and I officially had our falling out a few months back when I was grabbing a smoothie right before a movie. In walked some “hip” kids with their beyond tight pants. So tight in fact, that they did not make it above their hips. Their boxer briefs were in full view. I turned to fashion and said, “Get away from me. Get away from me right now.”
A little over a year ago I was told by some friends of mine that are about 5 or 6 years younger than me that the only jeans they buy are women’s jeans, because they are the only ones that fit right. At that point, I turned to fashion and said, “Seriously?? This is what we’re doing now? Count me out.” That’s when our relationship first went on the rocks. Obviously, it never really recovered.
I think it’s time to bring back A.V. Wear. – The only clothing line in proper sizing!
cadiz12 said:
how about making your own clothes? granted, that is a very slow method and one sock can take up to two days to make, but maybe it'd be worth the hassle. and then you can use your knowlege to adjust the things you can't make at home, such as windproof outerwear.
seventeen syllables said:
Omar, I feel your pain. And it's about time someone told Fashion the truth.
Personally, Fashion has offended me with the ultra low-waisted pants fad. It was so bad for a while that even the clothing stores targeted directly at me (middle aged professional women) like Ann Taylor were making pants that were unwearable by this middle-aged professional woman. At least not if I wanted to keep certain details of my anatomy to myself. Which, generally speaking, I do, at least while at work.
On the bright side, Fashion seems to cycle through these things so in only five or six years men's clothes will be back to normal!
Kristi Z. said:
Amen Omar.
I once counted how many pairs of pants I tried on before I found one that fit. Every single brand would fit differently and even several of the same size (and brand!) would fit differently, forcing me to keep searching. I was at over 50 before I lost count. And don't even get me going on petite sizing...
Becky said:
until you have to get fitted for a bra, or find yourself in between the normal stores and the fat-lady stores in terms of size, you will get no sympathy from me.
wendela said:
You sure don't look XXL to me, omar. My family used to have a retail clothing store many moons ago and there definitely were differences in the same size of what was shipped to us. A friend of mine worked in the clothes business. She said whenever they'd get an order for so many of a certain size and didn't have 'em, the company would switch tags so the order could go out. That may be a reason for such a difference. I'm only very happy this happens when I can suddenly, unexplicably wear a pair of pants two sizes smaller than usual. :)
Lia said:
I hate fashion too. Who says people should be the same size on top and bottom?
And I hate when really rude people ask me what size I am, and I don't know what to answer.
Carrot Jello said:
Sounds like you need a good man girdle. A mirdle, I think that's what they call them.
Syar said:
Maybe it's the vole that's been messing with the size labels. God knows he's like a quintriple XS, and he's trying to get clothes tighter and smaller to fit his vermin body.
Nadia said:
It's about time someone came up with another vole conspiracy.
glo said:
I'd like to take a moment to praise myself for starting the trend of letters to Fashion at large. While I can't quote myself, I'm pretty sure I was the forerunner, though some might site Go Fug Yourself. They'd be wrong. I've been writing letters to non-entitied social structures for at least a few more days than them. I'm sure of it.
I said:
RaJ - I hope it snows in Florida tomorrow.
Mr. 5k - I have NEVER heard of dudes buying womens' jeans. That's... it's sickening.
Carrot - You're out of the band.
Carrot Jello said:
Hey, if you want to play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band.
Rhonda said:
LOL carrot
I feel your pain, Omar. Fashion sucks you-know-what. I especially hate people who decided we need a size "0"