Food Review Tuesday III
Back in January, fellow blogger Carrot Jello posted about a food I had never heard of, the Grapple. It looks like an apple, tastes like a grape. Not only is it something I had never heard of, but it's a concept I didn't quite understand. If you want grapes, why not eat... grapes? Did focus groups lead them to believe that the only thing holding back grapes from worldwide success is their texture? Their size?
I don't want to give off the impression that I'm critical of the makers of the Grapple, I'm just perplexed by the fact that their product exists. I was so intrigued, I decided that I had to have one. The problem is - or rather, was - that I couldn't find them anywhere. After a month or so of checking local grocery stores, I gave up.
I had completely forgotten about them until I ran into a Grapple display at the store Tuesday night. I broke into song, threw a package in my cart, and drove home. I'll have to go check the files, but I'm fairly certain that prior to this, I had never once been excited to eat a fruit or vegetable. Ever. Never ever.
So I picked one out of the package. First impression is that it was kind of waxy feeling. I shrugged it off, because it's probably just some sort of grape-scented preservative so that they have a longer shelf life. I'm not above eating some preservatives, and the fact that they smell like grapes just made it all the more appealing. Out of habit (and per the instructions on the packaging), I washed one off in the sink, then I eagerly took a bite.
Then another. And another.
It tasted like an APPLE. A good apple, sure. But I didn't even taste a hint of grape (though it did smell like grape Kool-Aid). I was so hyped up to try this thing, it makes me wonder if I expected too much. But in fairness to me, at the root of my expectations was the idea that this apple would taste like a grape. I think I got that idea from the packaging that reads, "Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape."
My current theory is that Carrot Jello collaborated with my wife and my doctor to concoct this whole scheme to get me to buy and eat fruit. Well guys, I concede. You win. But I will not fall for that one again.



Comments
Radioactive Jam said:
I hear they're working on a broccarrot.
Lia said:
Never heard of the Grapple. Isn't an interesting idea, but yeah. Grapes is grapes and apples is apples. Except when grapes are wroth.
Lia said:
Never heard of the Grapple. It's an interesting idea, but yeah. Grapes is grapes and apples is apples. Except when grapes are wroth.
Lia said:
Bloch's Law of Publishing: Some mistakes go unnoticed until all copies are printed and distributed. The first page the author turns to on receiving final product contains the most glaring error.
Moral of the story: don't change your mind about what you wanted to write once you've started writing, unless you're prepared to proofread.
Toni said:
I can't stand grapples. Nor purple ketchup, or any other weird things they come up with!
angelciela07 said:
Purple Ketchup? I think I just dry heaved! BLEGH!
Jon said:
You know, mixing juices is one thing, but genetically altering a fruit to be some sort of hybrid is taking it too far I think. Personally, the great appeal of grapes to me has always been their single bite size. Apples on the other hand, have always suffered from their prep time necessities, i.e. cutting, slicing, coring, skinning and juggling. (Little known fact about me: I’m kind of a sissy when it comes to eating apples. Biting into one usually results in some sort of jaw trauma for me. It’s a rare affliction known as sissyapplejawitis. There’s not a lot of literature on this particular affliction right now, but trust me, it’s very, very real.)
After reading this though, I’m convinced that the Grapple is just a marketing ploy from the enormously corrupt Apple industry trying to fool the consumer into buying more apples under various pseudonyms… Well I’m not falling for it. However, I’m not above duping as many people as I possibly can, so I suggest that while the Grapple buzz is hot, op.net immediately releases it’s brand new line of Grapple Pies! “Delivered by Wee Ninjas and enjoyed by all… even though they don’t really taste like grapes, but that’s ok because grape pie actually sounds pretty disgusting.”
Slogans and tag lines are not my strong suit, but you get the idea…
Rhonda said:
Did you wash it? If you read the package, when you wash it the "grape" taste goes bye-bye. I fell for the Grapple thing once too...and did the exact same thing. Basically, they flavor an apple. So just dunk an apple in some grape juice and you have a Grapple.
I said:
The package said, "Like with all produce, wash before eating." I feared that I had washed off the grape, but I was following directions!
Becky said:
why do grapples make me think about wrestling?
jazz said:
my favorite part about the grape is the texture. the gummyish lychee kinda feeling. you 'll never get that with an apple.
i wasn't the least bit curious about this fruit. and now i'm even less the least bit curious now that i know it's just a decent tasting apple ;)
Carrot Jello said:
Success at last! Muwahahaha!! *high fives Omars wife*
glo said:
This is all it takes?! Name a fruit something weird and make a jazzy name?!
Dude. My job just got so much simpler.
glo said:
And my grammar got more complicated. Please forgive the redundancy above.
Jonathan said:
Omar, I think they stole the flavor infuser you gave Kristi and I for our wedding*. I have been looking for that thing (mainly because I planned to send it to you for your birthday, but I failed) and have not been able to find it.
*note to readers, yes Omar gave us an "as seen on tv" flavor infuser as a wedding present. In his defense we did indirectly give it to him for christmas one year.
How Is A Grāpple® Brand Apple Made? - http://www.grapplefruits.com/process.html
Grāpple® brand apples begin as Washington Extra Fancy Fuji Apples. Of all apples this is the one that takes on the grape flavor best. This Patent Pending process is complex and the ingredient mix primarily includes concentrated grape flavor and pure water. All ingredients are USDA and FDA approved and the process has been licensed by the Washington State Department of Agriculture. There is nothing but flavor being infused into the Fuji apple. The apple takes on no additional sugars or calories. They are not genetically altered in any way. The apple is as healthy as ever but now has the new exciting grape flavor.
Btw - I think it would have been cooler if they were Genetically altered to taste like a grape
Syar said:
Flavor an apple? The danged fruit already has a flavour! Its called an apple flavour!
I'm Grappling with the dilemma of this weirdness.
demosthenes said:
I love what you've done with the place... seems like this always happens when I go out of town and don't blog for a week.
Anyway, outside of "Juicyfruit" flavors, this is the first time I've heard of such a hybrid fruit. How's The Boy when it comes to fruits and veggies?
cadiz12 said:
okay, i swear i made a comment. something about stuff not tasting as good post-hype. and pluots. (plum/apricots).
stupid miami computers.