Miscellany
- Last week, the guy I go to the gym with during my lunch breaks suggested that we play tennis. Before last week, I hadn't hit a tennis ball since 1997. And I sucked then. It doesn't take a statistician to know that if I sucked then (in my athletic prime), didn't play for 10 years, gained 25 pounds and got slower, the odds of me being successful now are pretty low. As expected, I still do suck. But what I didn't expect is that I'd love it! I've played a bunch of times since then, and am now in the market to buy my own racket (or racquet, if you're cool) and sign up for lessons. Suggestions are welcome.
- Mother duck has been spending more and more time on the eggs each day. Still no sign of any male ducks, which has made the whole situation much more tolerable. We've started checking in on her more regularly, as she laid the eggs almost 3 weeks ago, and the baby ducks are supposed to hatch in 20-25 days. I think we have a slight case of Stockholm Syndrome going on in my house. I was initially on the phone with animal control, ready to have someone come and remove the ducks for fear of aggression or gang rape. Three weeks later, I'm avoiding my front door as not to disturb her, and I'm eagerly anticipating the arrival of her babies. It's like she owns half of my front yard. Next thing I know, she's going to have me robbing banks in the name of equal rights for ducks.
- This dude's head got run over by a truck. He was wearing a bike helmet and suffered "only" a concussion, but is otherwise fine. His quote to the local paper: "It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head." No, friend, it feels strange to put your hand in a bowl of peeled grapes. It feels really strange to touch your tongue to the leads on a 9-volt battery. You got your head run over by a truck.
- The 400th episode of The Simpsons is airing on FOX this weekend. My next post here will be omarphillips.net's 400th. They're such copycats over at FOX.
Comments
Lia said:
- First! Yay!
- Head run over by truck vs. peled grapes. I'm laughing way too hard for at work with people nearby.
jazzy said:
pictures of ducklings please!
No Cool Story said:
I am a racquet kind person. But I have also spelled "potatoes", so what does that make me?
I am so excited about Omar's 400 post. You know what that means? Disco ball party!
Radioactive Jam said:
I'm strangely afflicted with a desire to be able to say I got my head run over by a truck. Of course then people would say, "Well. That explains a lot," and I'm not really interested in being so easily dismissed. So I guess I'll pass.
As for the ducks: think 'soup.'
Toni said:
I, unfortunately, thought I could still roller skate- I was awesome as a kid! That was 20 years ago, apparently my center of gravity has changed, and I am no longer coordinated when I have wheels attached! Goof luck with Tennis!
Are you going to take pictures of the ducklings (baby ducks??) when they hatch?
I feel safe here to admit it- the K household will also be watching the hour long 'celebration' of the Simpson's! Fox is totally copying you!
Lia said:
I just have to wonder if it was a typo or inspiration that caused Toni to write "Goof luck with tennis." I'd love to see the video of the goof in tennis.
Jon said:
Ah tennis... it's a great game. If you're buying a racket, my only real advice is make sure you get the proper sized grip for your hand. Most sports stores have a guide hanging somewhere around the racket section, or you could look it up online. Personally, I like my grip to be a little over-sized. That's just what felt most comfortable in my hand. I was the captain of my tennis team in high school, so I'm pretty much an authority on this sort of thing.
You may also want to get an over sized head on your racket too. You'll want to delay the frustration of framing shot after shot as long as you can in the beginning. But as you progress, you'll want to slim down to a regular sized head and begin making fun of all the other guys with over sized rackets. Then you can start saying things like, "Anyone could have made that shot with a racket head the size of Nebraska!" It's the most gracious way to accept losing the point.
I think you'll find that powering a winner down the line past your opponent by perfectly hitting the ball in the sweet spot of the racket is akin to perfectly crushing the ball down the fairway in golf... or maybe not. Time will tell. Best of luck to you!
glo said:
And you made fun of Jazz and I for falling for the vole?!
The little mama must be quite anxious. You should probably play her some soothing music.
Rhonda said:
No gang rapes in the front yard? Maybe all "those" ducks flew south for an Akon concert.
Syar said:
Mwahahaha Rhonda. Good burn.
cadiz12 said:
tennis is one of the few Auntie Patrol-blessed sports! i know, hearing that will make you sleep better at night. you're welcome.
unfortunately when i was a kid visiting India, i saw a man get his head run over by a bus. he was not wearing a helmet and was not quite as lucky as your guy. thankfully, i seem to have blocked out the gore and only remember the oranges he had been carrying from the market rolling around in the street during the mayhem.
demosthenes said:
Glad you've taken up the support. In terms of racquets, I'd recommend you go with part of the staple W line. My preference is 03/04 N-code model... it's a bit lighter than the current version, and weighted more in the head. If you want a bigger head, go with the N-blade. Either way, they're the best racquets out there.
wendela said:
Tennis is one of my favorites and we have courts here near the house. As for the bike helmet, my ex-hubby had one literally save him recently. He was hit on his bike by a car going 40 MPH. Helmet's in lousy shape, but after lotsa time he'll recover. Wear a helmet, people!
Oh, yeah, and thanks for sparing the duck mama and ducklings-to-be.