By the Numbers: Party Edition
1: Number of bachelor parties I attended last weekend.
2: Number of questions asked by Canadian border patrol when entering their country.
30: Number of seconds it took to get through the Canadian border, counting wait time and question answering time.
1034: Number of questions asked by US border patrol on the way back in.
45: Number of minutes we waited in a line of cars before we even got to that border patrol agent (wait time in the middle of the day was closer to 2 hours).
1.1: Canadian dollars I lost per minute while at Casino Niagara.
None of your business: Number of minutes I spent at Casino Niagara.
94: Number of shots it took me to complete a round of golf at Ussher's Creek golf course at the Legends on the Niagara (highly recommended, though I hear the Battlefield course on the same property is better).
4000: Number of calories I'm sure I consumed after breakfast at a rest stop, lunch at the golf course, dinner and dessert at the Hard Rock Cafe, and snacks in between.
5: Approximate number of minutes I was home before I turned right back around to catch the tail end of the annual neighborhood picnic/party (where I consumed an additional 500+ calories).
0: Number of strippers I saw while in Canada for the bachelor party. Don't try to make anything of my specificity.
10: Number of minutes we spent unsuccessfully attempting to understand this sign, seemingly randomly placed where we were directed to stand while waiting for a table at the Hard Rock Cafe (sorry for the poor photo quality):
Comments
jazzy said:
my guess is that you were not there for all that long...
you don't seem like the gambling type
No Cool Story said:
I'm going to say 20 minutes. That's only playing time, no walking around time.
"No standing or materials of any kind..." Maybe it was supposed to read "No standing on materials of any kind...".
There. Now it makes sense.
Nadia said:
I'm not surprised that it wasn't too difficult for you getting into Canada. I hear they're not the paranoid type, and that they don't make crazy generalizations about you based on your nationality or ethnicity.
I suppose they're too busy watching ice hockey, or pouring maple syrup onto their ham, or finishing every sentence with "eh?" to do that, right?
Radioactive Jam said:
And curling. Don't forget curling. Canadians love that.
Also goose hunting.
And I don't understand your problem with the No Standing sign; it makes perfect sense to me.
Which now that I think about it is more than a little disturbing.
cadiz12 said:
i'm always given the third degree at the border, and they pulled all indian/middle-eastern looking people out of the security line in detroit and made us go into this air-puff chamber. i'm all for keeping our country safe and don't mind being detained for security purposes, but they sure do make you feel like a leper.
sometimes i wonder if the actual terrorists are going to start using different-looking evildoers because of the government's racial profiling. it wouldn't hurt to pull out an atypical person to search once in awhile.
Lia said:
How long did it take to cross the border back into the States? (And which border crossing was it?)
As soon as I saw the good stats on getting into Canada, I started worrying.
Also, 1.1 Canadian dollars is approximately 1 American dollar. So why confuse us all with the decimals?
Jon said:
I've been contemplating that sign (which I first typed out as "sing," which wouldn't make sense at all. That's a mistake I rarely, if ever, make when I'm speaking, but make all the time when I'm typing.) for the last couple of days now... I'm not very close to a resolution yet, but I'll keep trying.
elasticwaistbandlady said:
Did you bribe the Mounties with Canadian Bacon to expedite your passage into the country? Or did you use your secret supply of bootleg Celine Dion concert videos to do it?
elasticwaistbandlady said:
I'm thinking of a follow-up to your wild vole movie success.
'Omar Does Ontario!'
How do you feel about onscreen nudity?
I said:
If it's tasteful, I'm OK with it.