Four Truths and a Lie: Wedding Edition
This weekend, I was the best man in my best friend's wedding. It was a charming outdoor ceremony on a lakefront property. I was concerned that it would be too hot outside while wearing a tuxedo, but it really wasn't that bad at all. The reception was very fun as well, though the DJ didn't mix in enough slow songs for my liking.
Also, in case you're wondering, I looked stunning.
Since the latest edition of "Four truths and a lie" was apparently too easy, I decided to do it again. And this time, I will stump ALL OF YOU. Unless, that is, at least one person picks every answer, because the one who gets it right might not have been stumped. Anyway, you know the rules. Five stories, four are true. The other one is such a good lie, James Frey's representatives have already contacted me to say they want to use it for the basis of a chapter in the sequel to A Million Little Pieces. Your job is to guess which one that is.
1) A mere six months ago, I posted about how I had no idea what the hell the Chicken Noodle Soup dance was. But on Saturday night, they played the song. The DJ specifically called me out on to dance floor (it sucks when you're the best man, so the DJ knows your name). Having only ever seen the dance performed on my computer screen via YouTube, I got on the dance floor and I did the chicken noodle soup dance for the first time in my life, in front of the entire crowd. I let it rain AND cleared it out. Then I let it rain again, and so on.
2) I was tremendously nervous to do the toast before dinner. So despite weeks of practicing my speech while mowing the lawn (so I could say it out loud without anyone hearing me), I had the speech written out in its entirety on a piece of paper in my pocket. When the time came, I took the speech out of my pocket, but I decided to just go with the flow, so I never actually looked at the paper. I managed to deliver my speech OK, but I made the classic mistake of forgetting to do the "toast" part at the end, because that's the one part I didn't practice. I started to sit back down, when I was nudged by the groom's brother and reminded that I "didn't let them know it's OK to drink yet."
3) The wife and I were sitting down chatting with an old friend we haven't seen in a while, when I heard the first few notes from the Sugar Hill Gang's version of the song Apache. Excitedly, we ran out onto the relatively empty dance floor and we did our rendition of the dance Will and Carlton did on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air (you can see their version of the dance here). Several others in the younger crowd, who I have no doubt had no idea what the crap we were doing, got on the dance floor and followed our lead. It was the most fun wedding dance moment of my life. It even prompted my parents, who were also in attendance, to remark, "who taught you to dance like that?"
4) The matron of honor, whom I had not met until the rehearsal dinner the night before, is 36 weeks pregnant. As I watched her walk down the aisle during the processional, I found myself imagining her going into labor during the ceremony. I wondered if that sort of thing has happened before. I also wondered if the bride and groom would think of it as something amazing that happened during their wedding, or if they'd be mad that something overshadowed their wedding. By the time I snapped out of it and got back into the moment, the bride had already reached her spot up front. Consequently, I don't really remember the bride walking down the aisle. I do remember seeing her during and after the ceremony though, and she looked beautiful.
5) The groom, his brother and I were getting ready for the wedding in a hotel room. We noticed that his brother's tux did not come with cuff links. This led to a 10-15 minute discussion on cuff links and speculation on why someone thought they were necessary. The sleeve already has buttons! Then the wedding planner came in and wondered why we weren't ready yet.



Comments
Syar said:
#5 : You're too coll to talk about cufflinks. IF you didn't know it before, I'm telling you now. Plus, this one didn't have as much detail as the other four, and I have the image of you dancing, toasting, pondering pregnancies and labour and having too much fun to discuss cufflinks firmly entrenched in my mind.
Syar said:
Cool. Not coll.
GAH. This severely detracts the coolness of me being FIRST!
*dejectedly* Haboob.
Syar said:
*worriedly* I don't lose cool points for typos, do I?
Also, just a heads up, I borrowed your "By the numbers" style. Just for a bit. I'll return it, I promise.
Jon said:
As a general rule, I never believe stories about dancing. It's a little known fact that no one ever tells the truth about their dancing abilities. This leaves me in a bit of a bind because there are two dancing stories. BUT, I can believe that the DJ called you out. I've been to a wedding or two in my day, and the DJ is always hassling the guests like that, so I'm going to have to say that #3 is the lie. You don't strike me as the type to lead a dance, even if FPOBA is involved.
Now I have to contemplate whether or not I should leave four more comments, one with each possibility as my choice for which is the lie, thus insuring that I'm not stumped, and also that everyone knows I'm full of it.
Crap Happy Mama said:
Oooooh, Apache......JAM ON IT!
Jonathan said:
"So despite weeks of practicing my speech while mowing the lawn (so I could say it out loud without anyone hearing me)" - Your neighbors really think your crazy don’t they?
"Look Sally, that Omar guy is out there talking to his grass again. (hmm his lawn does look nice maybe I should try that)"
I say 2
No Cool Story said:
#3, just because I don't think your wife could pick you up and throw you like Will did Carlton.
seventeen syllables said:
#1. Unless it's #5- that sounds suspiciously like a Friends episode.
Cate said:
I'm betting on #3. Two dance stories is at least one too many.
Lia said:
I'm going with #2, because you're too much of an individual to make a classic mistake.
X said:
I call #1. I've seen the Chicken Noodle Soup, and ain't no way a self-respecting man will do that in front of others.
---X
jazz said:
either number 1 or number 3.
however number 5 is just dumb enough that nobody would think you'd make up a lie about it...
2 and 4 are DEF truths.
i'm going to hope you didn't make your wife learn that dance to apache. i'm going with number 3.
also, chicken noodle soup dance can DEF be learned by watching a video once on youtube.
I said:
Apparently, I didn't stump everybody. Answer coming soon.
cadiz12 said:
i'm with X. I'm sure you were an excellent best man, but the chicken noodle soup dance? i don't buy it.
No Cool Story said:
Is that everybody me?
Is it me?
Me?
demosthenes said:
I say #2. I don't think you would have been nervous for making the toast. If you let it rain without much hesitation, a paltry little speech shouldn't have worried you in the slightest.
Becky said:
i'm going with #2, because you are such a huge cadiz fan and you recall the time she was a maid of honor and made a point to remember to raise her glass to the couple at the end of her toast.
but i'll buy that you were nervous. and i could even be persuaded to believe that you decided to wing it at the last minute.
you know what? scratch that... I'm going with #4 - you wouldn't have been able to stare at some pregnant lady, because you couldn't keep your eyes off of your own gorgeous wife.
Rhonda said:
It's got to be #1. You are too cool to do the Chicken Noodle dance. Right? RIGHT?
Rhonda said:
P.S. Poor Matron of Honor. I am only 34 weeks pregnant and I cannot IMAGINE having to wear a bridesmaid dress and standing through an entire ceremony. I hope they let her wear flats at least.