Specs
(There's a good reason for my lack of posting. I just can't tell you what it is yet.)
I got new glasses two weeks ago. My previous glasses were purchased roughly 8 years ago, so the prescription and style were both at least 3 years out of date. Consequently, for the past few years, I've predominantly worn my contact lenses. But now that I have glasses that are the correct prescription, I've been excited to wear them. I've worn them all but one day since I picked them up. And you know what?
Not a single person has noticed.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not all about getting attention. And though I am pretty self-absorbed, I don't often expect others to be as interested in me as I am. But seriously? Mom and Dad? Brother, coworkers, and neighbors? Offspring? You? Yeah you, reading this right now? You didn't notice either! I thought at first that because I didn't often wear my old glasses, people just maybe didn't realize they were new (because they wouldn't have remembered what my old ones looked like). But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if someone who doesn't wear glasses suddenly starts wearing glasses, everyone should suspect they're new.
So I've narrowed it down to three possible solutions. 1) The new frames are too close in style to my old frames; 2) I'm like Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense" and (*SPOILER*) I don't really exist; or 3) I'm on a reality TV show called "Pretend not to Notice," and everyone is just messing with me.
Just in case it is #3, I'm going to start randomly throwing curse words in my sentences, as to make sure nothing I say makes for good network TV dialog.
Comments
Becky said:
Oh, I totally noticed, but the wife was there, and I didn't want her to think I was paying you too much attention. It was out of respect for her.
But since you mention it, they look awesome. And younger, if that's possible...
aubrey said:
what?! no picture? how can the blogland community not have a say in this? i vote it's #3 and would love to see footage of THAT tv show.
aubrey said:
paul says that maybe you should get new friends.
Syar said:
It's probably because Pretend not to Notice is sponsored by Soflens contact lenses.
Err...I mean...*bolts*
Jon said:
I'm going to skip right over the obvious and move on to what I find to be more interesting.
It seems like everyone I know that wears glasses is more than comfortable ignoring their prescription for several years. Why is this? Why is seeing clearly not that much of a priority?
Ok, back to the obvious.
I've got bad news for you Omar, Pretend not to Notice is on HBO. I just got the numbers back from the studio, and with the new sporadic cursing, your ratings just skyrocketed.
Now for the really bad news. ABC, following the lead of CBS, just picked up this season (your 15th, congrats!) of PntN. Now, like CBS has done with Dexter, you'll be uttering sentences like, "Can you fruiting pass me the mickeyfricky salt?" And to make things worse, inside sources tell me that they're re dubbing you with left over sound bites from Don Knotts. No word yet on how this is going to play with the audience.
Sarah said:
I noticed. They look great and totally don't look like the old glasses at all.
Feel better now?
Jonathan said:
Man Omar, you really need to put the spoiler notice a lot further up on the page. By the time I got to the (*SPOILER*) tag I couldn't stop myself from reading further.
As for the new spectacles I’m sorry for not noticing. I feel truly awful about that.
Tori :) said:
I totally noticed Omar. TOTALLY. ;)
cadiz12 said:
i feel the same way when i get a haircut. which isn't often and never drastic, but still, sometimes i have up to five inches lopped off. maybe i'm on your show, too?
jon's right; i've totally ignored my prescription for more years than i'd like to admit (let's just say these glasses are about 7 years out of date). but i'm sure h will make me go when he gets here.
Lisa said:
I love your show!
No Cool Story said:
I had have already donwloaded all your upcoming shows! (can't tell you from where...let's just call it the pir@te b@y)
I didn't notice your glasses because I was busy trying not to notice the gray hair?
...
Just sayin'
;)
Lianne said:
Now that I have scheduled a season pass for your new show, I have to say that for a moment, I was caught off guard. I mean, was that Denzel with new specs? No, it was OMAR!
I just didn't notice, sorry.
Nancy Face said:
Duh...I noticed right away!
I didn't say anything because I was worried you might be self-conscious about showing off your spiffy new look.
Michael said:
I totally thought the (*SPOILER*) tag meant that "(*SPOILER*) YOU DON'T EXIST!!!" It took me a couple seconds to realize you were saying "(*SPOILER*) this is funny but I'm spoiling Sixth Sense for you! Ha ha, sucker!"
BTW, I think the new look is great on you. (By that I mean I imagined someone that would look good with glasses and pretended it was you. You need to post a picture.)
elasticwaistbandlady said:
Thos glasses are keeping you from unwanted people hitting on you, Omar.
Girls don't make passes at guys who wear glasses. And maybe guys don't make passes at guys who wear glasses, either. Lucky you!
Lauren said:
Honestly, everyone noticed. Everyone knows how cool and popular you are, we didn't want the way awesome glasses to puff you up. The world can't take that much coolness yet. Not yet Omar.