Quick break from the break
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Hi there!
First, I wanted to say thanks for your comments on the last post. Thanks!
Things are going fairly well since the new kid's arrival. The boy is handling it well, and sleep deprivation isn't hitting me as hard as it did the first time around. In fact, the only complaint I have is that she doesn't respect my swaddling authority. Let me give you a little background - I believe in the power of swaddling. If I had my way, kids would all remain swaddled every night until their 18th birthday. We swaddled the boy for his first 5 months, and it was one of the best moves we made. If we didn't swaddle him, he'd fall asleep fine, but then wake himself up every five minutes with his baby reflexes causing his arms to flail all over the place. If I swaddled him good and tight, he might have tried to fight it at first, but then he'd fall asleep and stay asleep for hours and hours.
Swaddling was always my job, and I loved it. I think I've mentioned before that I often felt kind of helpless as the new dad, as there was nothing really rewarding that I could do for the kid. Swaddling was my thing. Over time, I became an expert. He kept growing, so I had to keep coming up with new and creative ways to keep him swaddled (only one of those methods involved the use of tape). I created, then successfully completed the very first (and only) Ph.D. program for swaddling. I was a Swaddle Doctor. I made people refer to me as the "Sultan of Swaddle." I considered getting that embroidered on each of my shirts.
So when the girl came along, I was eager to return to my swaddling glory days. The only problem is that she is not at all impressed by my swaddling skills. Doesn't she know who I am? I'm the Swaddle King! I'll wrap her up nice and snug, then look over at her two minutes later to find her wide awake with both arms free, striking various fencing positions. Kids these days, they need to learn to show some respect.
Anyway, other than that, things are going well.
Second, I hope the new site will be up sometime in the next week or so.
Third, remember during NaBloPoMo when I posted that video of me writing with my Fisher Space Pen underwater? Well, a few weeks ago, I got an email via my YouTube account from someone at the Fisher Space Pen company. He thanked me for posting the video, and offered me up a free space pen ink cartridge. After a brief email exchange to verify that the dude was legit, I gave him my address. Sure enough, a brand new Fisher Space Pen medium point black ink cartridge arrived in my mailbox! This was very exciting for me. Not as exciting as it would have been if Dyson had sent me a free vacuum, but it'll do.
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Comments
Michael said:
Ok, so not to be picky or anything, but I'm OCD... You're "break" tags are backwards. The </break> needs to be at the end.
Rhonda said:
Congrats on your new pen! I guess we will be seeing photos of that before we see photos of the BABY!?! Please post a photo. I will send you my Dyson. The whole bagless thing is driving me crazy and a Kirby salesman came by the other day and made my Dyson looks like a friggin piece of you know what.
I said:
Michael - No, I'm temporarily ending my break, then restarting my break. I was trying to be clever. Trying.
Rhonda - I'll see what I can do re: the picture.
No Cool Story said:
What I really want is an instructional video of the swaddling technique.
I'm also a believer in swaddling.
No Cool Story said:
BTW & FYI: I'm cool enough to get your backwards tags. So I didn't need to read your explanation to get it. In fact, I avoided reading the explanation so it wouldn't uncoolify me.
Because that's how awesome I am.
Lia said:
Girls respect authority, but you have to remember: girls are different from boys. You have to give her proper attention so she won't feel like "They're just doing what they did last time; they didn't try anything special for ME." She wants to feel special.
The extra ink for your pen is very exciting. Now you can make more cool videos!
Oh, and @Michael: I'm OCD, too. The possessive form of "your" is spelled "your". Your "you're" is a contraction of "you are". Sorry. It's tough for me to control those reactions.
Joanna said:
Congrats! :) My girl actually needed to be swaddled for longer than my boy. I love the swaddle, too.
Hmm...she's a year old and waking up 3 times a night, maybe we should try it again?
Nancy Face said:
Your "break" tags made perfect sense to me! :)
I am SUCH a fan of the swaddle! I swaddled all three of my babies, and the sleep results were awesome! I just wasn't smart enough to keep it up for 5 months...when they got too big for their blankies I thought I had to stop! FOOLISH!
Don't you love getting free stuff in the mail? I mean, COOL free stuff? YAY!
No Cool Story said:
HEY! If you are uncomfortable with putting pictures of Baby Phillips on Teh Internets, you could use this identity protection technique.
Yeah.
Syar said:
Swaddle is such a cool words. Swaddle swaddle swaddle. Almost has the potential to be the new haboob.
The Girl's got sass! I like it. Glad to know all is well in the Phillips household. And how cool about the space pen!
Mike said:
What would have impressed me, doctor, is if the space pen people offered to send you to SPACE to make another video. But yeah, free ink cartridge would be my second choice, hands down.
Tori :) said:
I got it! I got it! I totally got the break tag. Clever my friend...clever.
I'm sorry the girl is not cooperating with your swaddling. Girls are different than boys. Boys do what girls say. Girls tell boys what to do. There's a difference.
So... if I make a video of me driving my Yukon what do you think I could get out of it? Gas? New Tires?
cadiz12 said:
i am SO looking forward to other ways The Girl will thwart your authority. Sorry Omar, but she certainly sounds like my kind of girl.
and if H didn't already have a Fisher Space Pen, i'd totally go out and get him one just because of that story. i love a company that supports its customers.
Klin said:
Congrats dad!!!
I loved your html break tags. I totally got them.
I must admit I didn't swaddle my kids. I loved to hold their little toes and didn't know about the benefits of swaddling. My baby is 10. Maybe it wasn't talked about much then.
*bows to the Sultan of Swaddle*
Nobody said:
We had the same kind of luck with swaddling of #1 and #2. Just wait until that girl learns how to smile. It's all over for you...
This has been insightful for me Omar. I realize that it's difficult for the dad when mom's are sort of, built to provide, but reading your blog has helped me understand better why my husband was swaddling our 2 month old in July, in the desert.
I also didn't get in on the Dyson post the first time---thoroughly enjoyed it. I hope Mr. Dyson finds you.
Lisa said:
The Swaddle King! We never perfected the swaddle. My kids cried forever. Maybe that is why.
marie/y said:
Well, I hate to be the bearer, but 4 years HAVE passed - it might take a little longer to get your swaddle back now that you're 31 and all.
Maybe you could use your spare time (heh heh) to practice on a doll or your computer or something.
In the meantime, be grateful for your Space Pen! The most I've gotten from posting in my blog is freaks looking for anything and everything rabbit-related, including pictures of dead ones, gutting them and the like.
I think I'll start mentioning something I want in my blog. Let's see who gets what they want first: you and your Dyson or me and my....um....well I don't exactly know what I want, so check back soon.
Shoot, I guess free vacuum bags for the GE Home Cleaning System would be good, but my god, how many times do I have to mention it to get noticed?!
Maybe I should do a video. Hmmmm...thanks for the idea!
wynne said:
Woo-hoo! I come back from my break to see that Omar has taken a break from his break and that he has a NEW KIDLET! Congrats!
And I wish I'd known you were the King of Swaddle about 4 years ago (our boys are roughly the same age, I think). Jake was the Houdini of swaddle-wrap escapes. It made me tired. So I would swaddle myself and let him do what he liked.
wynne said:
Woo-hoo! I come back from a break to see that Omar is taking a break from his break and to find he has a brand-spankin'-new kidlet! Congrats, Omar!
wynne said:
Where are my posts going? Why is your blog eating my comments?
wynne said:
ALL I WANT TO SAY IS CONGRATS, BUT NOOOOOOO, THIS THING KEEPS EATIN' THE COMMENTS...
wynne said:
Omar? Are you in there? Were you lying about the sleep deprivation not being so bad, and somehow, in a sleep-deprived haze, the comments ate you?
Are you okay?
Hello?
(can you tell this thing to stop eating my comments? I just wanted to say congrats.)
wynne said:
What the !@#@!@^^%#@?
Omar?
Congratulations?
boo.
(I have a sinking feeling I'm going to look like a dork somehow, somewhere, but WHERE are those comments going?)
wynne said:
BREAKING NEWS:
A black hole has been swallowing comments at Omar's newest post.
"It's amazing," a bystander, Charles Littleton, recalls. "I just kept tossing comments in, and they just disappeared. Poof. Like that."
While there are no leads on where the comments are going, sources suspect that the comment leaks are related to the time-leak that has opened up in Centralia, a small po-dunk town in NW Washington. "It's true--time just keeps disappearing. I don't know where it goes. And it must have something to do with Omar's site. I just lost several minutes there, and I don't even know how it happened. But I think the time is whereever the lost comments are," complains sniveling blogger, wynne.
Some are blaming Prez. Bush for this disaster, some are blaming Father Al. Jean Knee believes that it is an imposter that has done it all. We may never know the truth.
Details will be posted as they are discovered. If anything is ever discovered, that is. Meanwhile, if anyone needs to dump some dead bodies, I'd suggest using Omar's comment field.
-love, Associated Press
No Cool Story said:
Weeeeh!
I wanna see the black hole!
Joshua Barton said:
To donate to the Victims of the Great Black Hole '08 Fund send cash, cashier's check or credit card number (along with a copy of driver's licence and SS# for verification purposes) to:
DestroyBlackHoles4Humanity@joshuab.org
Limited time only: Receive a commemorative mug signed by OP himself for only $49.98!
Lauren said:
A free cartridge?! That is so bomb! Let's think of other ways you can get free stuff. Oh yes! Once when I was in the 7th grade we were supposed to write to a company complimenting one of their products. About a month later my english class started receiving mass amounts of gifts from those compaines. I noted to always write letters of praise to companies after that. 8 years later, I still haven't done that.
All hail swaddling king!
Jon said:
I had no idea swaddling was so important. I can't remember if I was ever swaddled.
Just for clarification though, what exactly are the rules on using tape in the swaddling process?
Sarah said:
Congrats on the baby! I miss your posts - come back soon! When you're ready to come back, I changed up blogs - I'm at the new URL above.
elasticwaistbandlady said:
I'm the Sultana Of Waddle.
Pleased to meet you.
Alice said:
Nothing to do with your current post, but the Smiling Infidel sent me your way since I've been having my own Brokeback Duck moments in my backyard! (see current post if interested in homosexual duck rape) - I got a kick out of reading your blurbs on your own duck drama!
No Cool Story said:
omarandjoshua-bff.com
namelessninjas.com
thisisomar.com
imdonewithmybreakandihaveaclevername.com
You are welcome!
Lisa said:
Oh, NCS is so clever!
How about:
Dysonowesmeavacuum.com
Swaddleking.com
Hostesswiththemostestofphotoassignments.com
:)
No Cool Story said:
iusetehinternets.com
vole-bugs-begone.com
swaddlesultan.edu
L33T.com
No one interesting said:
So...I'm guessing you'll be back to blogging when the kids leave for college?
Mmmmkay.
Some Blogger said:
I bet your new post tomorrow will be awesome.
Lisa said:
Oh, I heard you were going to be posting today......
Rhonda said:
This break has been going on long enough. I need vole, gay duck, baby, and lawn mowing updates.
Lisa said:
Maybe NCS is holding out for the new Omar site....
Nancy Face said:
Wellllll...hello, Omar!
Okay, bye!